Hangin' on Posco Pier!
For d-bags that can’t get it right…
THE PENTAGON — The yearly Force Readiness and Future Investments report from the Pentagon identifies key areas of R&D investment for future acquisitions programs. This year’s report took extensive consideration on the environmental concerns of running the military’s aviation missions. In an effort to be good stewards of the Earth, top officials have declared that…
FORT BELVOIR, Va. – A new transition assistance initiative unveiled this week will help retiring colonels decide which Civil War battle they should study to ease the sting of being passed over for brigadier general, and to fill the void of no longer working 80 hours a week. The program, dubbed Colonel for Life, individually…
Editor’s note: The following article originally appeared in the September 1918 Duffel Blog. The author die weeks later of the 1918 influenza pandemic. ALBANY, N.Y. — Army Sergeant James Thomas has always been a step ahead of his peers, and now after returning home from the “Great War,” he has his sights set on a…
FORT STEWART, Ga. — Since his arrival to the unit, 2nd Lt. Joseph Lynn hasn’t let a single day pass without an unsolicited announcement that his top branch assignment of choice was actually the US Army Quartermaster Corps. Soldiers have become numb to the random proclamations that Lynn continuously gives notice of. “We almost feel…
WASHINGTON — Numerous general officers who contributed to America’s slow-motion failure in Afghanistan would like you to take their advice on how to defeat the coronavirus pandemic, sources confirmed today. “I think our advice is particularly timely for government officials. We know how to walk away from a disaster where people died with our reputations…
FORT JACKSON, S.C. — Spc. Tyson McClean, a light-wheeled vehicle mechanic with the 3-128th Infantry Battalion, might be a top barracks lawyer right now, but he ascribes to be a barracks judge someday. “With the uptick in barracks law suits and an increasingly litigious barracks culture, we need the best barracks judges,” said McClean. “I’m ready. I’ve been…
WASHINGTON — In an unprecedented public revelation, Deep State leaders announced plans to honor essential COVID-19 crisis actors with chemtrail flyovers throughout the month of May. “It is the least we can do for these heroes pretending to put their lives on the line so that the New World Order can flourish,” hissed Deep State…
WASHINGTON — Secretary of Defense Mark Esper confirmed that the Pentagon stands to lose billions of man-hours in pointless bullshit as military facilities worldwide continue telework and lockdown due to COVID-19, or Coronavirus. Gen. Mark Milley, Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, echoed Esper, adding, “Our Armed Forces are about to miss out on…
THE PENTAGRAM — In the wake of a recently released report showing a three percent increase in reported sexual assaults across the military last year, the Pentagon issued a statement vowing immediate action: All annual sexual assault prevention training will have at least double the number of slides in them starting next year. “We must…
PHILADELPHIA, Pa. — The Blue Angels and Thunderbirds completed a flyover of the greater Philadelphia area to remind healthcare professionals that members of the military are still the only heroes America needs. The demonstration, which occurred around 2 p.m., left Philadelphians completely underwhelmed and confused about the utility of having warplanes fly over a city…