127th Chemtrail Squadron annoyed Jews get credit for weather manipulation
AREA 51, Nevada — Wars abroad and natural disasters at home are providing a target-rich environment for America’s most covert operatives. But aircrews with the 127th Chemtrail Squadron are frustrated their efforts are being ignored and instead being attributed to the Jews.
“Look, when you work for the shadow government of the New World Order, being a quiet professional is part of the job,” said squadron commander Lt. Col. Renaud Camus. “Most of our work goes unsung, and we’re fine with that. But honest to Dalton McGuinty, Almighty Archon and High God of the Lizard People, when our operations are publicly disclosed I believe we deserve credit where credit is due. So please, stop saying it’s the Jews who are responsible for weather manipulation. The fine men and women of my squadron control the weather, and they work hard every day to make that happen.”
Camus’ frustration stems from several allegations related to Hurricane Helene’s impact on traditionally Republican-voting states, including those from noted climate scientist and patent lawyer Marjorie Taylor Greene.
“I can’t begin to describe the effort it took to not only spin that hurricane up but get it pointed in the right direction,” said Camus. “We ran 24-hour maintenance shifts for a month straight and had to incorporate a bunch of last-minute technical directives for enhanced nanobot dispersal patterns. And I almost had a mutiny when I canceled our annual Family Day/Transgender Drag Queen Library Poetry Slam and Pizza Parlor Pedo Gang-bang after receiving orders to slide our launch time 12 hours to the left. So yeah, I’m a little annoyed that, once again, everyone points to the Jews. Running the New World Order is a team effort, and I want to note for the record that our combat chemtrail crews are a vital part of that team.”
Indeed, squadron operations officer Maj. Alice Bailey lamented that the International Jewish Conspiracy often received credit for operations performed by other arms of the shadow government.
“We try to stay professional, but it hurts to see good work go unrewarded. Every day, we’re up there at 30,000 feet, flying 12-hour missions to change the weather, control your brains, sterilize white people, and turn their children gay. Then you land only to learn that someone tweeted — again — that ‘the Jooz did it.’”
“And can I be honest? Sometimes, at our weekly Illuminati staff syncs, those show-boating Elders of Zion won’t even deny it! I mean, how much more do they want? They’ve already got the banks, and every night, they drink the finest vintages of Christian baby blood. Leave some crumbs for the rest of us. Not matzos crumbs though, we all understand they need those for the ceremony.”
Further down the flight line, 66th Black Helicopter Squadron commander Lt. Col. Helen Chenoweth chalked up Camus’ frustration to the heightened operational tempo often accompanying election season.
“It’s our busy time, and emotions can run a little high,” she said while running checks on the 5G COVID dispenser aboard her aircraft. “But we always remember our motto as bestowed to us by the Rothschilds: One Team, One Globalist Fight.”
Future Plans Officer Capt. Adam Weishaupt outlined the parameters of Area 51’s overall election-year mission set.
“In some cases, like laying chemtrails or running Great Replacement rat lines, we’re just surging the sortie rate of daily operations. Other missions occur on a quadrennial basis, like having the Freemason Transport Command shuttle illegal immigrants to polling stations or tasking the Bilderberger Cyber Force to hack voting machines.”
According to Weishaupt, every election season is different, and he admitted that 2024 tossed a few extra balls in the air.
“Those zany Jews…you know, they don’t always tell us what they’re up to, so we found ourselves a little overtasked when they opted to start another war in the Middle East shortly after tricking the Russians into invading Ukraine. But as the Vatican’s QAnon Conclave noted, it was a great distraction for the 127th to launch one of the finest weather manipulation operations in history. Back-to-back hurricanes to kill Republican voters one month before one of the closest elections in history? They deserve the Air Force Cross, all of them. Sure, it’ll probably get down-graded to letters of appreciation and a 72-hour liberty, but we all know what they did.”
At press time, Lt. Col. Chenoweth’s squadron was preparing to launch on-call missions to blow over the water bottles of hurricane relief workers while poisoning local aquifers with endocrine disruptors.
Kay Too Ess Ohhhhh finds your excuses vague and unconvincing.
