Hangin' on Posco Pier!
The world found out shortly before 2 p.m. Eastern time on March 15th that the United States was bombing Houthi targets across Yemen. We, however, knew two hours before the first bombs exploded that the attack might be coming, and also what the National Security Council was going to have for dinner. We knew this […]
Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth, long known for his poor judgment, shocked the world on Monday when it was revealed that he showed poor judgment by texting classified war plans in an unsecured group chat with a reporter from The Atlantic. Share “I was shocked when I heard Pete was the source of the Pentagon leaks,” […]
The following is an op-ed by Jeff and Tina, former employees of the Cyber Awareness Challenge at the Department of Defense. Six years ago, the Department of Defense decided that it no longer needed our helpful hints on cyber awareness and operational security offered in a quiz game format. But now, as we assess the […]
By Fat Ghengis WASHINGTON — Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth clarified this week with reporters that the recent leak of classified information to a journalist was actually supposed to have been a close-up photograph of his genitals. Share The classified war plans shared with The Atlantic’s Jeffrey Goldberg, which included details about upcoming military activities […]
FORT BRAGG, N.C. — Members of Bravo Company have officially filed a complaint against 2nd Lt. Tyler Gear, citing his inability to hold a single conversation without mentioning his deep, borderline spiritual connection to IPAs, sources confirmed today. Share “He won’t stop,” said Sgt. Jake Mendoza, rolling his eyes. “We’ll be in the motor pool, […]
So, you’re tired of this modern hellscape bullshit. Maybe your chain of command is a toxic dumpster fire, or perhaps you’ve realized that no amount of online “tactical” gear purchases will make your desk job any cooler. Either way, you’re looking for a fresh start in a foreign land — whether it’s fighting for freedom, […]
Gen. Randall Reed, commander of U.S. PENISORVAGINA Command, tours the assport ship MV Cape Sable. WASHINGTON — Following a series of Presidential Directives and Pentagon orders banning transgender troops from serving in the military and affecting other trans rights, the Department of Defense announced this week that the United States Transportation Command (US TRANSCOM) has […]
THE PENTAGON — Following guidance from the President and Secretary of Defense on rolling back the clock to simpler times, a spokesperson for the Deputy Assistant Secretary of Defense for Personnel has announced a new recruiting strategy targeting prospective Black recruits. Share “All the DEI nonsense muddied the waters of where Black merit traditionally lies […]
THE PENTAGON — National Guard infantry officer and cable news talk show contributor-turned-Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth has ordered the military to paint a white letter ‘Z’ on all tanks, tracks, trucks, “and anything else that is lethal,” sources confirmed today. Share The mandated vehicle markings mimic those used by invading Russian forces in Ukraine […]
WASHINGTON — With many veterans worried that government-wide cost-cutting measures will affect essential medical care and benefits, Veterans Affairs Secretary Doug Collins has reassured the nation that he will “personally punch every veteran in the nutsack,” sources confirmed today. “Don’t believe all the rumors you hear in the woke media,” Collins said. “I’m coming for […]