Navy Captain sacked for misplacing confidence
NORFOLK, VA — Yet another Navy commanding officer has joined the ranks of those relieved for cause.
In a break with naval tradition, in which a flag officer typically ends a subordinate officer’s career with vague assertions of a “loss of trust and confidence in the ability to command,” Capt. Roger “Rusty” Annkor abruptly removed himself from command of Destroyer Squadron Two, citing having misplaced his confidence in his own leadership abilities.
Capt. Annkor, a veteran surface warfare officer of over two decades of service on the seas, was once hailed as a rising star in the Navy. Known for his sharp wit, strategic acumen, and unflappable demeanor under pressure, he was seen as a natural leader destined for the highest command. However, during a routine combat drill aboard the USS Stout, a state-of-the-art destroyer under Annkor’s command as part of Destroyer Squadron Two, Annkor was seen pacing nervously on the bridge, looking about frantically, paging through manuals, and repeatedly searching his pockets.
A witness said Annkor’s usually confident demeanor was replaced by “a look of doubt and hesitation.” Annkor struggled to make a decision, his once authoritative voice faltering as he gave conflicting orders to his crew. Then, declaring his confidence irretrievably misplaced, Annkor ordered himself from the bridge, confining himself to his stateroom or the wardroom until the ship returned to port.
The ensuing confusion and chaos left many sailors bewildered, leading to a breakdown in communication and coordination that threatened the safety of the entire ship. “It was like watching a ship without a rudder,” one crew member remarked. “We were lost at sea, adrift in a sea of uncertainty with no one to guide us.”
Senior officials wasted no time in launching an investigation into Annkor ‘s conduct. What they discovered was both shocking and unprecedented: Capt. Annkor had, in fact, misplaced his confidence somewhere between the galley and the engine room and was wholly unable to find it.
“It’s a tragic case of misplaced trust and confidence,” remarked Adm. Horatio Nelson, head of the Navy’s disciplinary committee. “In a profession that demands unwavering confidence and decisiveness, Capt. Annkor misplacing his faith in his own abilities is simply unforgivable. I support the strong leadership he displayed in firing himself almost immediately. More officers should fire themselves.”
In a somber ceremony, Annkor formally relieved himself of his command, cut off his uniform buttons, and instructed the crew of the USS Stout turn their backs on him as he departed. Walking the gangway to shore, eyes downcast and shoulders slumped in defeat, Annkor muttered, “If anyone finds my misplaced confidence I’ll bowline knot it to a dummy cord so I never lose it again.”
Navy leaders vow to ensure all future surface warfare officers are equipped with the necessary tools and training to lead with unwavering, even unreasonable, levels of confidence and conviction. Hopes are high for a proposed course called “Getting Your Sailor Swagger On: “Navigating Confidence and Gun-Decking CASEREPS”.
A seaman apprentice assigned to the deck of the USS Stout was later seen looking particularly self-assured.
Adrian DeRyder is a retired soldier turned comedian. He used to serve his country, but now he just serves punchlines.