Hound Dog Blog UNSATegorized B-21 nukes DoD budget

B-21 nukes DoD budget

WASHINGTON — After years in secret development, America’s newest stealth budget-buster has made its public debut as the Pentagon’s answer to calls for defense cuts after the U.S. military withdrawal from Afghanistan.

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The B-21, the first new American bomber aircraft in more than 30 years, is a highly-classified long-range strike bomber capable of blowing a hole in a fiscal year or even a continuing resolution while delivering conventional and thermonuclear weapons around the globe. It will replace the B-2 Spirit and the gaping budgetary hole left by no longer needing to fund overseas contingency operations or the A-10 Warthog.

“When we talk about low observability, it is incredibly low observability,” said Kathy Warden, chief executive of Northrop Grumman. “You’ll hear it, but you really won’t see it eat into the defense budget until it’s too late.”

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The cost of the bombers is unknown, although the Air Force previously said it wanted to purchase 100 aircraft at an average cost of $550 million each in 2010 dollars — roughly $753 million today.

“The cost of the B-21 is projected to exceed the GDP of the third-world countries it will most likely be called upon to bomb,” said a senior Air Force official. “It has the capability to bomb a few hunter-gatherer societies all the way back into the Stone Age, or at least further back into the Stone Age.”

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Observers who remain alive after the F-35 program induced numerous strokes and heart attacks in military analysts say the B-21 may cost up to $1 bazillion per aircraft once it takes to the air for the first time in 2023, 2024, 2025, 2027, or whenever after numerous cost over-runs and production delays.

“The B-21 is a testament to America’s enduring advantages in ingenuity and innovation,” said Defense Secretary Lloyd Austin. “And it’s proof of the Department’s long-term commitment to ultimately exceeding $1 trillion in yearly defense spending.”

“While the top-line cost per unit is eye-catching, the stealthiest part of the design is the exorbitant maintenance costs not included in the initial budget,” Austin added. “Some deliberate design flaws will require hundreds of billions of further dollars to retrofit it in a couple years to keep it in the air.”

Unveiled last week by Northrup Grumman, the capabilities of the B-21 are shrouded in secrecy. Many parts of the bomber have been hidden from view, including the rear of the plane and any view of its engines. But sources familiar with the matter tell Duffel Blog the plane’s engines are mainly powered by $100 bills. Officials say the plane is backed by 200 times more funding than the Pentagon’s budget to upgrade computers or remove mold from the barracks.

“This bad boy can nuke about $100 billion from the pockets of American taxpayers,” said Austin after slapping a standard military 463L cargo pallet piled with gold bars in the B-21 hangar. “The American dollar’s capabilities are truly incredible.”

Lieutenant Dan and G-Had contributed reporting.

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