Marine SgtMaj wins Caldecott Medal for kids book
THE WHITE HOUSE — President Joe Biden awarded the Caldecott Medal to Sergeant Major of the Marine Corps Troy E. Black in a ceremony held in the East Room on Tuesday before assembled military dignitaries, family members, and Mrs. Juanita Gonzales’s kindergarten class from Thomson Elementary School for his bestselling children’s book, Shut the Fuck Up and Sit the Fuck Down!
“I thought I ordered everybody home from Afghanistan? What’s this for again?” asked President Biden, somewhat confused about the ceremony.
The artwork for the book depicts fatherly Marine drill instructors on the make-believe Island of Sirap who gently teach youngsters the art of shutting their pieholes lest someone unscrew their head and shit down their neck. The book also urges kids to be wary of dangerous giant fleas who hide on sandy beaches.
Black took responsibility for the book’s editorial content but said the artwork belonged to some numb-nuts lance corporal he caught doodling on his agenda sheet during one of the sergeant major’s meetings.
According to Black, the real credit should go to Gen. Mark Milley, who initiated a long-term branding program to help military recruiting by introducing warfighting concepts to school children.
At the time, Milley acknowledged the program wouldn’t pay dividends for many years. But he reasoned it was similar to every other Pentagon program: start small, then gradually increase costs for years until so much is invested that the program cannot be killed.