Elon Musk offers $44 billion to buy Space Force
By Carl
SIMI VALLEY, California — SpaceX CEO and Chief Twit Elon Musk has offered to buy the U.S. Space Force from the federal government for $44 billion.
When asked why he wanted to purchase the service, Musk shrugged and admitted he didn’t know what it did. “Maybe they have some spare parts or something we can use,” said Musk.
Nevertheless, Musk announced that his first action if the sale was approved would be eliminating the 16,000 civilians and military personnel assigned to the service. He reasoned the people of Space Force were there only for the pay, benefits, and allowances and were probably quiet quitters anyway.
The world’s richest man assured Space Force employees that by eliminating sleeping, eating, and dental appointments they could easily assume the additional workload and save him enough to install new cup holders on his Gulfstream G650ER.
Musk recently discovered the anti-satellite capabilities inside the Space Force organization, and he began planning ‘Operation Fuck Jeff Bezos’ to dominate space-based Internet service.