Tom Brady outraged after Marine says their divorces are comparable
CAMP LEJEUNE, N.C. — A Marine lance corporal has apologized to the National Football League after comparing his own divorce with that of legendary quarterback and yodeling champion Tom Brady.
Luke Powell, a 3043 Supply Specialist assigned to Combat Logistics Regiment-2, recently told his supply section that his mid-deployment divorce was almost like being the quarterback of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.
“I’m trying to feed 300 Marines in the field while handling phone calls from her divorce attorney,” Powell said in the smoke pit. “It’s like, ‘Man, I feel like I’m 3 and 5, should have retired two years ago, and my Brazilian Victoria’s Secret model wife just divorced me.'”
After his remarks were posted on social media, Brady immediately responded with outrage.
“How can he compare a six-month ‘marriage’ that started off with a blowjob in the back room of a Jacksonville strip club, to being married to a supermodel for 13 years?” Brady asked during a press conference following Thursday’s loss to the Baltimore Ravens. “Just because our exes both get paid to walk around in their underwear for a living, do not even think our divorces are the same!”
“My marriage lasted 13 years; that’s 12 years more than the average Marine Corps marriage and 9 years more than the average Marine Corps career,” said Brady.
“We’ve got normal kids, multiple houses, and no debt. You’re not going to see her shacking up with my platoon sergeant or me sneaking MREs out of the police shed because I’m broke.”