Airmen on jet skis in Guam ‘disgusted’ with Tom Brady
By Off the Beaten Path
ANDERSEN AIR FORCE BASE, Guam — Air Force service members participating in a morale-building jet ski event on deployment in Guam say they are “disgusted” with Tom Brady.
“I simply cannot believe the audacity of this guy to compare playing a kid’s game to what we go through on deployment,” said Staff Sgt. Kerry Bryant after turning his jet ski off. “The sacrifices that we make for our country day in, and day out can never compare to playing some silly game.”
Bryant and others took issue with Brady’s comments during a recent podcast interview, in which he said a season of football was “almost” like “going away on deployment in the military.” Brady’s comments caused a major uproar in the military vet bro community.
“It doesn’t matter if the war is over, we’re still here protecting everyone’s freedom back home,” Bryant said while waiting on his mojito at the beachfront tiki bar. The Air Force prides itself on premier duty locations and unparalleled treatment of service men and women, officials said.
Troops in Guam aren’t the only ones upset about the superstar athlete’s comments. Duffel Blog spoke with senior leaders on a Rotationally Aligned Force (RAF) deployment to Naval Station Rota, Spain, a highly desirable duty station where troops have served since 1953.
“I wish Brady would stop living in whatever dream world he’s in and come back to the real world,” said Col. Jerome Woodlin while cleaning the sand from his golf shoes. “[Brady] probably has someone to clean his shoes for him, and here I am restricted to an MWR golf course that doesn’t even have an ocean view,” he said.
“The beer math just doesn’t add up to me, who does the guy think he is? Joe Montana?” Woodlin asked while waiting on his driver to load his clubs into the government vehicle.
The NFL star’s comments have even left a bad taste in the mouths of deployed soldiers attending Oktoberfest in Stuttgart, Germany.
“TB12? Rumor is he’s getting divorced, which makes him one DUI short to qualify as my Division CSM, especially since neither of them has combat patches,” said 1st Sgt. John Freeland while waiting in line for chicken and beer. “But until the guy gets me more than 10 points in our unit fantasy football league or comes on a USO trip, he can keep his damn mouth shut.”
“Go Ravens!” Freeland added after finishing the ‘Sweet Caroline’ sing-along, moments before throwing up under the Cannstatter Volksfest sign.
At press time, sources close to Tom Brady suggested that he may apologize to all of America’s veterans in the coming days.
Word-of-mouth is the best way you can help us reach new readers. Please use THIS LINK to fire off an easy pre-written email to a friend. Thanks!
2022 Dispatch Links: 2nd Amendment · US Navy · Biden Loan Forgiveness · NATO · Veteran Beards · J.R. Majewski · War In Ukraine · PsyOp Drones Soldier Haircuts · Mattis · FBI Raids · Confederate Candles · Chaplains · Supreme Court · Elon Musk · Space Force · Biden Open Door Policy ·
🔥 FYI: You should shop the Duffel Blog store and buy stickers to plaster all over the Pentagon. Thank you for your guerrilla marketing service. Also, send links and funny memes our way on Twitter at @DuffelBlog, stories, jokes, and hate/fan mail to mailbag@duffelblog.com, and follow us on Instagram. We’re also hanging with ~13,000 fans in our official Facebook group. Thank you for your support!
