Marriages triple in Marine Corps after debut of ‘Purple Hearts’ on Netflix
CAMP PENDLETON, California—Marriages in the Marine Corps are on the rise after the release of the popular Netflix film Purple Hearts, according to a recent study.
Officials confirmed that since the film’s release on July 29, enrollment of new Marine spouses in the Defense Enrollment Eligibility Reporting System (DEERS) has increased threefold.
Purple Hearts tells the dramatic tale of a young lance corporal with a shitbag haircut who marries a smoking hot singer/songwriter/diabetic and then immediately deploys to Iraq. While overseas, the new bride moves his things into an oceanview apartment and does not sleep with a single one of his friends, while the lance corporal endlessly Facetimes her from the battlefield.
A portion of the movie was filmed on location at Camp Pendleton with the Marine Corps blessing. Officials say it was intended to be a cautionary story about the dangers of scamming the federal government for housing allowances but admit it may not have had the intended effect.
“We can’t be certain the recent increase in marriages is directly linked to the film,” said Capt. Ryan Bruce. “But it has come to our attention that a number of the new spouses have serious health conditions and are, frankly, far too hot to be married to pimple-faced 19-year-olds.”