New 6-foot Marine Corps bayonet protects against COVID-19

WASHINGTON — The Marine Corps has begun issuing a new socially distanced bayonet that is six feet in length, Brigadier General Spanky Sicklecell announced yesterday.  “Stabbing the enemy at close range with a steel blade, while perhaps violent, is an honorable thing,” Sicklecell said. “But violating an individual’s social distance rights is cold-blooded and goes…