Happy birthday, Coast Guar—Oh crap, that was two months ago?!

WASHINGTON — Happy birthday, Coast Guard! Semper paramus, you magnificent puddle pirates! We love you guys. We do. We’re so happy to—wait, what? Crap. Look. We totally had this on our calendar, but it, uh. Yeah. We’re going to be honest with you, Coast Guard: We totally forgot. There’s just so many times you were […]