Hangin' on Posco Pier!
Airmen practice relaxing for less than four consecutive hours COLORADO SPRINGS, Colo. — A new study from the Air Force Academy Metal Flying Things Research Center has found that 77% of the Air Force is unfit for service in the real world. Share “Airmen are delicate beings that have very creative minds and can’t be […]
Any resemblance to any incarcerated Harvey Weinstein is coincidental FORT GORDON, Ga. — The 22nd Signal Battalion has selected Sgt. 1st Class Michael Anthony to take over as representative for the unit Sexual Harassment & Assault Response and Prevention (SHARP) program following the retirement of Master Sgt. Harvey Weinstein*. According to his official biography, Anthony […]
THE PENTAGON — As the U.S. military observes Pride Month and celebrates the contributions of LGBTQ service members to America’s security, the Air Force is showcasing its commitment to inclusivity with Pride-themed munitions for use in conflicts around the world, sources confirmed today. “The other services have been emphasizing their work creating an inclusive environment […]
If you can’t wrap it, slap it! GUANTÁNAMO BAY, CUBA — A minor inconvenience for service members is now being used to glean intelligence from some of the world’s most dangerous people. According to officials, the Department of Defense has implemented a new enhanced interrogation procedure: subjecting long-held “Gitmo” detainees to a non-stop weekend safety […]
By Senator J.D. Vance On June 6th, 2024, as globalist elites mark the 80th anniversary of the Allied invasion of Europe, Americans should take a moment to reflect on what a catastrophic waste of our manpower and resources this effort to counter a maniacal, existential threat to the free world really was. The math just […]
FORT LIBERTY, N.C. — The Army’s Special Warfare Center and School (SWCS) will broadcast its next change of command ceremony exclusively on OnlyFans, sources confirmed today. The unconventional decision follows a recent change of command ceremony that went awry due to an unexpected Zoom interruption. Share According to officials, the incident earlier this week sent the […]
Somebody ‘bout to get paid. Our legal team visits every recruiting event to make sure we get a piece of the pie if your child has been abused by military recruiting practices. (Source: DVIDS 265450 and that strip mall lawyer you’ve seen on local TV) STRIP MALL LAW OFFICE NEXT TO THE RECRUITING STATION, Your […]
Cdr. Topper in less restrained days. NAVY SUBMARINE BASE KING’S BAY, GA — The Navy is seeking a ball gag order for Cdr. Dominic Topper, the former commanding officer of the Ohio-class submarine USS George Santos in the wake of accusations of multiple felonies and violations of the Uniform Code of Military Justice. The crimes […]
A Navy officer gazes upon the freshly painted hull of the new Despair-class USS Helmand Province NORFOLK, Va. — Fresh from announcing the name of the Navy’s next amphibious assault ship, Navy Secretary Carlos Del Toro surprised sailors at Naval Station Norfolk by revealing additional vessels for the planned Despair-class of surface combatants. “I know […]
The USS Al Gore has reached speeds up to 4 knots in testing ANNAPOLIS, MD — The United States Navy is currently testing aircraft carriers powered solely by wind turbines announced Secretary of the Navy Carlos Del Toro during a recent appearance at the US Naval Academy. The Secretary proudly spoke to the Midshipmen about […]