Hangin' on Posco Pier!
MAR-A-LAGO, Fla. – Shortly following a second apparent assassination attempt against former president Donald Trump, secret service agents detailed to him admitted that the looming threat of violence they have to contend with is reminiscent of something only hardened soldiers or young children are usually exposed to. “It’s like living in a school zone,” said […]
THE PENTAGON — In a shocking revelation that has left troops nationwide questioning their dietary choices, the Department of Defense announced today that the meat served in military dining facilities (DFACs) for decades has been a mix of cats, dogs, and an occasional wet market bat. Col. William Boyardee, U.S. Special Operations Command’s Snack Officer, […]
BERKELEY, Calif. — In a move lauded by the Berkeley City Council as “inspirational,” the city’s Home Depot unveiled a new initiative to honor America’s heroes in a distinctly local way. Described by store manager William Klink as the catalyst for institutional enlightenment, military service members and veterans will now automatically qualify for a 10% “America’s […]
KABUL — In a surprise move that has sent shockwaves around the country, the terrorist group al Qaeda has announced plans to commemorate the 23rd anniversary of the September 11 attacks by organizing an “Honor Flight” to New York City. The group, which was responsible for the 2001 attacks that claimed nearly 3,000 lives and […]
WASHINGTON — In a twist that has left the nation bewildered, Air Force One made an emergency landing at a Dairy Queen in Columbus, Ohio, on Monday. Initial reports claimed the plane had been hacked, but the truth is far more surprising: President Joe Biden was behind the controls. The 81-year-old Commander-in-Chief, long known for […]
ARLINGTON NATIONAL CEMETERY, Va. — Following the recent media flap over former president Donald Trump’s visit to Section 60 of Arlington National Cemetery, several families of current service members who happened to be visiting Arlington at the same time expressed concern over how Trump’s incident would affect their vote in this fall’s presidential election. Share […]
By As for Class THE DANGER ZONE — Five Air Force service members have died, and three are in the emergency room after being challenged to try Meals, Ready to Eat (MRE) by a group of Marines. Share “I couldn’t believe the scene,” said Sgt. Chinchilla, the first military police individual to respond. “Some of […]
Off-duty Corpsmen volunteer time to explain “clean, dry socks” to Marines CAMP GEIGER, N.C. — After a particularly horrific sick call at the School of Infantry-East Aid Station, a hollow-eyed Hospitalman 2nd Class Angel Flores is urging fresh-faced aspiring infantrymen to consider masturbating into clean, dry socks. “No matter how many times I say it, […]
ARLINGTON, Va. — Uproar over former president Donald Trump’s recent campaign stop at Arlington National Cemetery has escalated following reports that he was seen “sneaking in a quick nine holes” of golf on the hallowed cemetery grounds. “This place is beautiful,” Trump declared for campaign cameramen as he jammed a tee into the soft earth […]
The following is an Op-Ed from the most important manual in the US Army. Hey, it’s me. The most important manual in the entire DoD and quite possibly the world. You know who I am. You’re coming to me if you need to break track on an M1 Abrams. Do you need to know the […]