Hangin' on Posco Pier!
Everyone knows that the lieutenant gets really motivated and delirious every time he “leads” morning PT. But can you tell the difference between 1980s heavy metal lyrics and things he’s said when the platoon is about to step off on a run? Take the quiz and find out! 1. Courage, men! Courage! 2. Run to […]
WASHINGTON—Moments after counseling a junior sailor about an ill-informed car purchase, newly promoted Rear Adm. (lower half) Richard Limping purchased a $500 million warship with a 32 percent interest rate loan. Sources say Limping made the purchase after he found out what a “sweet hookup” he could get from Gary at the ship dealership. “Gary […]
BAHRAIN, Bahraq—Sources close to the Pentagon say a U.S. unmanned aerial vehicle shot down by Iran on Thursday had penetrated deep into Iranian airspace. While the U.S. Navy claims the RQ-4A Global Hawk was in international airspace, multiple sources with knowledge of the incident say the UAV had thrust so far into the country that […]
TEHRAN—Iranian merchant and torrent movie DVD burner Farhad Khadem has ordered new inventory in the event of a mass migration of U.S. consumers who happen to be in the military and in his immediate vicinity sometime in the near future. “I’m no fortune teller,” said Khadem while switching out plastic discs in his computer drive, […]
PATUXENT RIVER NAVAL AIR STATION, Md.—The U.S. Navy RQ-4A surveillance drone shot down on Thursday was “just days away from retirement,” according to several people with knowledge of the matter. The move comes as tensions between Iran and the United States, which have been strained for decades, escalated. Iran reportedly attempted to shoot down another […]
SAN DIEGO—Special Warfare Operator Chief Edward Gallagher, a quiet professional accused of murdering a prisoner of war and other innocents, humbly rode in his friend’s old white Ford Bronco to his trial this week. The Bronco, which was purchased at an auction years ago in southern California, is indicative of Gallagher’s simple lifestyle and mild […]
By Senator Tad Raskill (I-Ill.) President Trump has called for upgrades to our existing nuclear warheads as well as production of new nuclear weapons. This is a mistake. America should not produce any new nuclear weapons until we have used the ones currently in our stockpile. To that end, I’m calling today for the immediate […]
NORFOLK, Va.—The Navy says the size of its fleet is just fine, thank you, and to stop counting its ships and start thinking about the service’s skill in using them. The Navy raised the subject in rolling out its new slogan, “Presence, not size, matters.” The U.S. Navy currently has about 290 ships, significantly smaller […]
CAMP LEJEUNE, N.C. — A heroic private first class from the Second Marine Division was awarded the Silver Star this week after spending his entire enlistment at dental, sources say. Sullivan was credited with “conspicuous endontistry in action against daunting dental readiness reports,” according to his award citation. After nearly three years in the unit, […]
WASHINGTON — Marines across the active and reserve force have sent letters and homemade cards to former Defense Secretary Jim Mattis for Father’s Day, sources confirmed today. Officials confirmed they became aware of the card writing activity within the ranks when an unusual number of requests came in for construction paper, glitter glue, and puff […]