Hangin' on Posco Pier!
For d-bags that can’t get it right…
ISENGARD — All right boys, this is it, the weekend. We’ve got two hobbits in captivity, we’re on the brink of an epic battle over the fate of Middle Earth, and the last thing I need is one of you scum showing up in the police blotter on Monday morning. Just think what the Master…
FORT STEWART, Ga. — Just three weeks after recovering from severe paper cuts, Pfc. Andrew Varneke has been admitted to Winn Army Hospital to treat multiple burns suffered while gathering exhaust samples. Pfc. Varneke joined the Army in early 2020 and has fallen victim to multiple pranks from other junior enlisted soldiers. “I don’t know…
TEHRAN — Iran’s Supreme Leader is calling a ship’s crew “heroes of fighting the Great Satan” for being one of the rare crews in the Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps Navy to successfully avoid accidentally catching fire. After seven IRGCN ships caught fire in the port of Bushehr on July 15, Iran quickly called the disaster…
FORT LEONARD WOOD, Mo. — After two years on the brigade staff team as the operations officer, Capt. Joshua Moore is fed up with fellow soldiers coming to tell him that the toilet is clogged again. “Do these people realize just because they aren’t an engineer by trade, they can still pick up a fucking…
THE PENTAGON — Gloriously spreading its wings as it clawed its way through layers of finely woven silk, a newly metamorphosed Secretary of the Navy emerged from its cocoon this morning to assume its post. “It’s so magnificent to see these SECNAVs transform from dull, harebrained corporate bureaucrats in their pupal stage into colorful secretaries…
FORT BENNING, GA. — After almost a year of soldiers coming in to consult with the brigade judge advocate general, Maj. Eric Habz wants to inform all soldiers that the JAG office can’t help you sue 3M. After the highly publicized case against 3M for defective earplugs, soldiers are now purchasing 3M masks in hopes…
WASHINGTON — The announcement by President Donald Trump to ban the use of the Chinese social media app, TikTok, has revealed details of what has been up until now a secret psychological operation–led military dance war with the Communist regime. A study of thousands of videos of US service members acting without discipline, have shown…
YOUR BASE — Gather round folks. C’mon, bring it in really close. I want to cover a few topics to keep you safe as we head into the weekend. It’s me, that hot new respiratory virus that got you a few days off work in March until the SecDef decided you were expendable. But don’t…
EL PASO, Texas — He may have returned to El Paso, but US Border Patrol Agent (BPA) Ken Greggs says he doesn’t feel like he ever truly came home from his harrowing 27-day deployment to Portland, Oregon. “Every time I hear a leaf blower, it’s like I’m right back inside that courthouse,” Greggs said. “I…
ANCHORAGE, Ak. – Senior Airman Ralph Montanez, an Intelligence Operations Specialist assigned to the 611th Air Operations Center at Elmendorf Air Force Base, was detained last week and charged with mishandling classified information while not having high enough rank to get away with it. “This is a serious charge,” said Lt. Col. Peter Smith, the…