Hangin' on Posco Pier!
For d-bags that can’t get it right…
FORT HOOD, Texas — Following the announcement that the U.S. Army had removed Maj. Gen. Scott Efflandt from command of Fort Hood, sources report that leading up to this action senior Army leaders had been shocked to learn that there was a commander there in the first place. From a prostitution ring, to missing soldiers, to…
FORT CARSON, Co. — Sgt. First Class Ted Carmichael is facing UCMJ discipline after being caught field stripping for cash tips during his battalion’s 3rd quarter field training exercise. Class Carmichael was reportedly discovered after senior officers noticed soldiers lining up behind the fuel point to receive his services. Another senior NCO reported watching Carmichael…
FORT STEWART, Ga. — In the wake of his TikTok video that went viral for an anti-Semitic joke, 2nd Lt. Norton Friedheim has fallen under the spot light of every echelon of Army leadership, all the way up to Chief of Staff of the Army James McConville. Friedheim, however, is approaching the situation with blatantly…
FORT SAM HOUSTON, Texas — Everyone in the United States was shocked overnight to learn that U.S. Army North is actually nowhere near Canada, according to sources who are terrified of Canadians. In the midst of reports about the devastating effects of coronavirus — which nearly rhymes with Canadavirus — citizens were doubly-upset to learn…
WASHINGTON DC — A Coast Guard spokesperson has admitted that after the USCGC Kimball was forced to fire on a shark during the crew’s swim call, the service has told Congress: “We’re gonna need a bigger boat.” “We figured that after the video went viral, it was time to take up an opportunity to beg…
KENOSHA, Wis. — Members of the Wisconsin National Guard say that they never truly appreciated the beauty of the city of Kenosha until they saw it burning to the ground. The city in southeastern Wisconsin has seen several days of bitter riots following a controversial police shooting. While the National Guard was originally called in to…
FORT CAMPBELL, Ky. — Following a recent deployment to Afghanistan plagued by low morale and “low energy,” soldiers from the 504th Military Police Battalion came together this week to watch the awarding of the only Bronze Star resulting from their time in theater—to S2 Captain Taylor Regan’s coffee station. “For most of us, our hearts…
SHAW AFB, S.C. — Hey, yo Colonel, I’m real happy for you, and I’m gonna let you finish your safety brief, but I wanted to say some things before you do. First off, the sergeant major gives the best safety briefs of all time. Soldiers, good morning, look at the valedictorian, scared of the future…
THE BAD PLACE — We knew Janet was too good to be true when she welcomed us at Fort Hood’s reception area. If only we were more perceptive, we would have seen that plot twist coming. Fort Hood isn’t The Great Place. It’s the Bad Place. There were other signs that we should have been…
The following Opinion article was written by an Anonymous Former President of the United States of America. I read with great dismay, upsetness, and frowny faces an editorial in the New York Times by a sitting Senator calling for active duty military to be used to do racism against peaceful protesters, who are just acting…