Hangin' on Posco Pier!
For d-bags that can’t get it right…
WASHINGTON — HGTV has launched a new reality series showcasing the versatility of the National Guard, the unlikely connection between horticulture and homeland security, and what Pentagon officials are calling the “new face of lethality.” The series, Gardening with the Guard, follows uniformed soldiers from the District of Columbia National Guard as they take on […]
WASHINGTON — Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth used his Citibank government travel card to cover military payroll last week, according to senior Pentagon officials who described the move as “creatively illegal.” “Apparently Citibank sent a letter to President Trump stating that Secretary Hegseth is now delinquent in the amount of eight billion dollars,” said White House Press […]
CAMP PENDLETON, Ca. — When 1st Lt. Marshall Stevens graduated Yale with a 3.87 GPA, varsity letters in football and rugby, and one of only two coveted billets as an Assault Amphibious Vehicle Officer, he imagined a life of bold amphibious warfare. Instead, he now chairs meetings about spreadsheets. “I joined to fight my way […]
JOHN F. KENNEDY SPECIAL WARFARE CENTER, NC — The U.S. Army Special Forces and Fortnite developer Epic Games have announced a first-of-its-kind collaboration featuring Green Beret celebrity, former UFC fighter, and current MAGA darling Tim Kennedy. While some have recently called for Kennedy’s SF tab to be pulled amid multiple stolen valor controversies, officials at […]
FORT BRAGG, N.C. — Today’s ideologically driven mass shooting has been canceled because of the government shutdown, base officials and furloughed extremists confirmed Thursday. “The plans for this indiscriminate violence had been in the works long before the current fiscal year,” said Spc. Jefferson Dale Earnhardt Davis, a fringe internet conspiracy theorist of some variety. […]
1. Food Seems like an obvious necessity to live, but not during a government shut down! Maybe you live on base and have access to a chow hall, you lucky duck. But for those on deployments to exotic locations such as Los Angeles and Chicago, tough it out. Secretary of Defense (and also War) Pete […]
THE PENTAGON — Defense officials today confirmed the discovery of a handwritten sign taped to the entrance of the Joint Chiefs of Staff’s treehouse that reads “No Girls Aloud” [sic], with the R in “girls” written backwards for emphasis. The treehouse — known to insiders as “The Clubhouse” — sits in the Pentagon’s back garden […]
MARINE CORPS BASE QUANTICO, Va. – Despite negative press coverage and a failed attempt at intimidating America’s enemies, Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth reportedly boosted morale among the more than 800 generals and admirals he summoned to Quantico by setting a world record for the largest military Dungeons & Dragons campaign ever played, sources confirmed today. […]
ANNAPOLIS, Md. — Following the announcement that the U.S. Naval Academy would begin accepting applications from students using the Classic Learning Test, officials confirmed today that See Spot Run has been added to the school's official reading list. “When I heard we were accepting an alternate SAT run by the CEO of PragerU I thought […]
MARINE CORPS BASE QUANTICO, Va. — What was mysteriously billed as the most consequential gathering of U.S. military brass in decades has been extended to make room for Secretary of Defense (and also War) Pete Hegseth’s visionary morale event: compelling 800 flag officers into a synchronized K-Pop Demon Hunter sing-along. “This was the day-one activity,” […]