Hangin' on Posco Pier!
For d-bags that can’t get it right…
By Blondes Over Baghdad FORT HUACHUCA, Ariz. — An Easter egg hunt for students in the Military Intelligence Basic Officer Leadership Course resulted in 18 lost Lieutenants, a base-wide lock-down and search, and several dozen rancid Easter eggs, the base chaplain reported today. “I thought an Easter egg hunt would be a treat for the […]
FORT JACKSON, S.C. — The Army forcibly removed soldiers from three barracks clusters last night to preserve a recently discovered species of toxic black mold, sources confirmed today. “We can confirm that a high-value mold species was positively identified last night,” said Army spokesperson August Corda. “[Non-commissioned officers] were conducting the first barracks check since […]
By As For Class THE PENTAGON — In a surprise move, Pentagon officials held a press conference today to announce the last 30 days of the war in Afghanistan. “It is time to close this chapter of American history,” said Pentagon spokesman John Kirby. Combat operations in Afghanistan began on Oct. 7, 2001, in order […]
Container Ship ‘Ever Given’ stuck in the Suez Canal, Egypt. (Photo: Pierre Markuse/Flickr) By Addison Blu SUEZ CANAL — The U.S. Navy is rejoicing after the container ship Ever Given blocked the Suez Canal for six days, marking the first time in recent history someone else’s boat fucked up worse than them. “Crashing into the bank […]
By Rock Or Something THE PENTAGON — Multiple sources in the Army Chaplain Corps have confirmed that Defense Secretary Lloyd Austin’s celebratory Passover seder turned Biblical when he swore to kill each military service’s firstborn budget request for the next cycle. “That was some Old Testament shit right there,” said Maj. Gen. Thomas L. Solhjem, […]
Duffel Blog can now add ‘mentioned in the congressional record’ to its list of accolades. On Wednesday, this scrappy little blog turned newsletter made national news after Congressman Pat Fallon (R-Texas) used information from a Duffel Blog article while questioning a witness testifying on behalf of the Southern Poverty Law Center. And boy, was it […]
By The Shammer Editor’s note: This article originally appeared on Military Transition Success, a website run by the Department of Defense that highlights military service members who successfully transitioned to civilian careers. Getting out of the military? Meet the former Marine infantryman who successfully transitioned from serving in the Marine Corps to serving up pies […]
By Dick Scuttlebutt on Sept. 6, 2017 MONTGOMERY, Ala. — The Southern Poverty Law Center has announced it would include prominent American veterans’ organizations American Legion and Veterans of Foreign Wars in its listing of hate groups, sources confirmed today. In a written statement signed by SPLC President J. Richard Cohen, the organization said both […]
By Bad Lawyer WASHINGTON — Top Pentagon officials are disappointed in the results of their $10 million ‘It’s Just a Little Prick’ awareness campaign to encourage military personnel to take the Covid-19 vaccine. The costly campaign resulted in only 10 additional vaccinations, meaning the cost per jab was roughly one million dollars. The Pentagon fast-trac… […]
By W.E. Linde MAR-A-LAGO, Fla. — After weeks of near-total diplomatic silence from North Korea following the inauguration of U.S. President Joe Biden, the Hermit Kingdom’s reclusive head of state unexpectedly appeared in this well-to-do Florida town in a whimsical, romantic flourish. Surprised residents watched as Kim Jong-Un stood just outside former President Donald Trump’s […]