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Concept art released by the Air Force Research Lab in 2018 shows a potential next-generation fighter concept or F-X. (Air Force Research Laboratory) By Scheisskopf BETHESDA, Md. — Lockheed-Martin has unveiled a “6th Generation Fighter for the Middle Class” in response to the Biden administration’s interim National Security Strategic Guidance. “This aircraft’s lethality is a […]
By BYOBooyah THE PENTAGON — The Department of the Navy is not mad at all at the Marine Corps for failing to get the Navy a Mother’s Day gift for the 245th year in a row, but people familiar with the matter say it would’ve been nice to get some kind of acknowledgment like all […]
By Bull Winkle WASHINGTON — The U.S. Navy’s newest ship may not have the impact on maritime security that senior leaders intended, according to a new gender reveal mine developed by the Naval Weapons Research Laboratory (NRL). “The thing was just supposed to coat the side of the ship with tinted talcum powder,” said lab […]
By Lieutenant Dan COLORADO SPRINGS, Colo. — After bubbles were leveled during a recent combatant commanders conference, a record number of table-slaps occurred, according to sources. The potentially contentious conference, dubbed “Jargon 21,” could have quickly led to table-flipping and bubble-bursting. But instead, the assembled four-stars all ripped the… Read more
By W. E. Linde DAYTON, Ohio — A new traveling interactive exhibit at the National Museum of the United States Air Force gives patrons and military history lovers a chance to experience an aspect of military operations rarely mentioned in history books: defecation in austere locations. “When people normally visit a museum, they usually come […]
By Jordan Hemlock THE PENTAGON — Seeking to differentiate itself from near-peer competitor Domino’s, the Air Force has announced a new mission statement: “Airpower in 30 minutes or it’s free.” “The old mission statement was too focused on outdated concepts such as warfighting and multi-domain operations,” said Gen. Charles Q. Brown, Air Force chief of […]
By 29ReasonsWhy TWENTYNINE PALMS, CA — During an interview to discover the source of his unit’s abysmal hearing test scores, Marine 1st Sgt. Jonathan Pizarro realized this morning that he’s been yelling continuously for the past seven years. “DAMMIT, DEVIL DOG!” he proclaimed when this reporter visibly winced from the sheer volume of his voice. […]
Air Force Global Strike Command Gen. Timothy M. Ray caused a stir recently when he called the US Army’s vision to become an “all domain” force, which includes a long-range strike capability that rivals the Air Force, “stupid.” The vision, outlined in a white paper entitled “Army Multi-Domain Transformation: Ready to Win in Competition and […]
By Cat Astronaut THE PENTAGON — After decades of wars in which decisive victory and a coherent purpose were often elusive, the Department of Defense announced it has adopted a new motto: “Winning Isn’t Everything.” “Moving forward, it’s important for us to try and enjoy the process, rather than focus on the outcome of international […]
By Cobra Commander PORTSMOUTH, Va. — Service members at Baron’s Pub say their knowledge of the history and customs of the U.S. Coast Guard is too hazy to call someone out for stealing valor. “This guy walks in wearing what could possibly be a Coast Guard uniform,” said Marine Staff Sgt. Jon Kunkle. “I just […]