Hangin' on Posco Pier!
For d-bags that can’t get it right…
By Yossarian ARLINGTON, Va. — Sources close to Gen. Mark Milley say the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs is privately expressing regret over his military’s lack of preparedness for executing the withdrawal from Afghanistan. In particular, Milley is lamenting not including any Vietnam War history books on his professional reading list that may have prepared him […]
By Call Sign Buttercup FORT CAMPBELL — An Army chief warrant officer urged his social media followers to pray for the innocent Afghan people on Friday several years after the Apache attack helicopter pilot indiscriminately killed many of them on multiple deployments. “Even the special ops dudes can’t compete with my numbers,” Army Chief Warrant […]
By Cat Astronaut An intelligence report has confirmed that the Taliban’s recent push to retake vast swaths of territory in Afghanistan is the direct result of a recent Air Force policy change that will allow airmen to put their hands in their pockets. “Sure, Afghanistan’s incompetent military and the U.S. withdrawal are contributing factors,” said […]
By Bad Lawyer WASHINGTON — The Biden administration defended leaving roughly 26,000 Afghan interpreters behind as the Afghan government falls to the Taliban as a strategic decision on Monday, with officials claiming the failure to evacuate translators was not an oversight but rather a deliberate move due to an ongoing need for translation of cries […]
By Cat Astronaut KABUL — U.S. military officers involved with planning the War in Afghanistan have been caught plagiarizing plans from the 1970s to lose the Vietnam War, according to a new report on the decades-long conflict that abruptly ended on Sunday. “I thought the plans looked a little strange at first, but couldn’t quite […]
By As for Class General officers in the Army have long been chosen for their ability to fill out paperwork, say yes, run fast, and not win wars. And the incredible system for selecting military leaders to fight and lose the nation’s wars has once again proven successful in Afghanistan. “The Special Operations folks were […]
By As for Class Recent advancements in ponytails for women have progressed the Army and other military services. But before ponytails were approved for women there was a memorandum from 1985 to approve mullets for men, and today it was finally signed. “If women can wear ponytails, it’s time to let men wear mullets,” American […]
By Cobra Commander FORT BRAGG, N.C. — The Pentagon announced that United States servicemembers would be required to get the COVID-19 vaccination by September 15th. A few soldiers, however, have some issues with the new policy. “The yoke of tyranny, in the form of a 29th vaccination, fits poorly upon my shoulders,” Army Staff Sgt. […]
By Cat Astronaut JACKSONVILLE, N.C. — At a junior officer sleepover party over the weekend, fellow partygoers dared Marine 2nd. Lt. Dustin McBride to go into the bathroom with the lights off and chant “sergeant major” in the mirror three times, sources say. “I’m not afraid of Sergeant Major!” McBride reportedly said before the other […]
By Lieutenant Dan WASHINGTON — The National Guard, nicknamed Minutemen ever since the colonial militia was organized in 1636, has been renamed Permanentmen after recently achieving its 1000th deployment in the last decade. It came as late recognition that the Guard has been on constant duty since forever, whenever federal, state, local, or foreign author… […]