Hangin' on Posco Pier!
For d-bags that can’t get it right…
By Bad Lawyer WASHINGTON — In the long-standing tradition of generosity at the holidays and limitless support for the troops, the United States Department of Veterans Affairs has announced a new program that will offer a free cup of coffee to each service member while they wait in line to die. “We were inspired by […]
By W.E. Linde THE PENTAGON — According to multiple sources, most general and flag officers at the Pentagon are having a really, really hard time coming up with strong bullets for accomplishments on their performance review for the past year. “It’s so painful,” said Timothy Dobbs, a civilian administrative assistant who helps compile the officer […]
By Slab Squatthrust NORFOLK — Multiple witnesses confirmed that a toddler was seen wandering on Amphibious Drive at Naval Base Little Creek earlier today. Bystanders however could not confirm whether it was a lost child from the Child Development Center or their new executive officer (XO). Occurring just after nap time, the toddler reportedly was […]
By Hunter J. Keith THE FINAL FRONTIER — Following a high-flying advertisement for Jeff Bezos’s Blue Origin, 90-year-old Star Trek actor William Shatner has shifted the scales, making the frequency of actors in space 100 times greater than that of Space Force Guardians. Shatner, whose achievements include a stint as Priceline’s spokesman and a spoken […]
By 29ReasonsWhy NEW BRUNSWICK, N.J. — Evan Miller graduated high school with dual plans for his future: Enroll at Rutgers and enlist in the National Guard. His intent was to enjoy his college experience and make some extra cash on the side while maximizing the benefits of both being a student and serving in the […]
By Blondes Over Baghdad ANNAPOLIS, Md. – Proving that she does not need a white ciscadet to tell her she’s free, Navy mascot Admiral Grace Chomper walked out of Navy-Marine Corps Stadium during halftime at the Army-Navy football game and never looked back. “After years of speciesist behavior, I’d had enough,” Grace told Duffel Blog. […]
By RED Friday Norfolk, VA — After an extensive search, investigators were able to locate the one enlisted person who cares about the Army/Navy game, sources report. Seaman Apprentice Wilford Durbans was shocked to learn he was the only person boot enough to care about Naval Academy football. “These are our future officers and leaders […]
Dear reader, We’re so grateful and wish you all the best this holiday season! Duffel Blog switched to a reader-backed email newsletter in November 2020, and we have been able to keep delivering military satire and biting wit only because of the support of people like you. But did you know you can gift a […]
By RED Friday The Snellville chapter of the Veterans of Foreign Wars in Georgia delayed the start of its bingo night until a fat guy with a beard showed up, sources confirmed today. “We can’t start until we fill out our checklist,” post quartermaster Roger Hornswaggle said as he passed out bingo sheets to the […]
By W.E. Linde JOINT BASE PEARL HARBOR-HICKAM, Hawaii — The Navy says there may be a slight possibility that enlisted military housing built atop lava fields on Joint Base Pearl Harbor-Hickam could be considered “unsafe.” While almost certainly not the case, the finding by the base’s housing inspector is a setback as military officials attempt […]