Hangin' on Posco Pier!
For d-bags that can’t get it right…
Photo by Scott Rodgerson on Unsplash By Slab Squatthrust WEST POINT, N.Y.—A family of four has been arrested by military police for an alleged “license plate game” cheating scandal in the commissary parking lot at the United States Military Academy, officials confirmed today. The husband, wife, and two children were witnessed checking off an insane […]
Purple Hearts- Picture:Netflix CAMP PENDLETON, California—Marriages in the Marine Corps are on the rise after the release of the popular Netflix film Purple Hearts, according to a recent study. Officials confirmed that since the film’s release on July 29, enrollment of new Marine spouses in the Defense Enrollment Eligibility Reporting System (DEERS) has increased threefold. […]
WASHINGTON—A federal commission tasked with studying the conduct of Operation Enduring Freedom has identified the exact PowerPoint slide that turned a corner in the war, making it unwinnable. “It stands to reason that if slides could win the war, that slides could lose the war,” said Nathaniel Riggins, chair of the Afghanistan Reconstruction Group House […]
The Atlantic Ocean is seen adjacent to President Donald Trump’s beach front Minuteman III intercontinental ballistic missile and Mar-a-Lago Resort. (Photo illustration Duffel Blog/Joe Raedle/Getty Images) MAR-A-LAGO—Former President Donald Trump blasted FBI “overreach” on Friday after hundreds of agents entered his home and private club in Florida and seized a nuclear intercontinental ballistic missile launcher, […]
KABUL—Days after the United States killed top Al Qaeda leader Ayman al-Zawahiri, the leading jobs website for Afghanistan, AFG JOBS, has posted a hiring position for ‘The Leader of Al Qaeda.’ “The Leader of Al Qaeda applies their professional expertise and unique skill sets to their daily work, including fundraising, operations planning, or just staying […]
OUTSIDE WRIGHT-PATTERSON AIR BASE — A Conex box is being loaded onto a flatbed and Maj. Nick Lee sticks his hands inside a make-shift air hole drilled into the side and says, “easy girl, it’s going to be okay.” Lee, 34, had given up all hope of this moment coming to fruition, so when his […]
WASHINGTON—The U.S. Navy’s senior-ranking bottlenose dolphin has been implicated in a bribery scandal authorities are calling a classic “favors-for-fish” scheme, sources say. “We have evidence that in exchange for facilitating certain government acquisitions, he has been getting kickbacks from contractors in the form of large buckets of mackerel, herring, and even squid,” said Navy judge […]
Chinese Defense Minister Gen. Wei Fenghe speaks at a press conference moments before throwing food at reporters. (Photo by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images) BEIJING—China on Friday repeated its threats to beleaguered mothers and fathers in the West that it would continue acting out for at least another week if it was not given back its toy […]
KYIV—As Russia’s invasion of Ukraine approaches its sixth month, Ukraine’s resiliency against numerically superior Russian forces has inspired and astounded observers the world over. But not everyone is surprised. According to some in the Pentagon, once approval was given to supply the advanced rocket launching system HIMARS and state-of-the-art reflective belts, Ukraine’s ability to repel […]
WASHINGTON — President Joe Biden, a 79-year-old senile out-of-touch American leader still living in the 20th century, has claimed success in the killing of Ayman Al-Zawahiri, a 71-year-old senile out-of-touch Al Qaeda leader still living in the 7th century. “Ladies and gentlemen,” Biden told members of the White House Press Corps, “We got him!” The […]