Hangin' on Posco Pier!
For d-bags that can’t get it right…
By Robin Berger JOINT BASE PEARL HARBOR-HICKAM, Hawaii — Senior naval officers gathered for a St. Patrick’s Day celebration at the Red Hill Underground Fuel Storage Facility, where they spilled green-tinted diesel over a key aquifer that supplies the island of Oahu with fresh water. Chief of Naval Operations Admiral Michael Gilday, Pacific Fleet Commander […]
By Whiskey Fueled Tirade Duluth, Minn. — Since leaving the Army last month, local veteran Justin Smart has been struggling with where on his body to have his recently earned professional certifications tattooed, sources confirm. “I already have my basic training platoon motto tattooed on my calf,” Smart told reporters. “And I’ve got a pretty […]
By Cat Atronaut UNDISCLOSED LOCATION — During a harrowing firefight this morning, sources report that at least one Marine stopped masturbating long enough to return fire. “We were taking heavy machine gun and mortar fire, but not so heavy that I didn’t think I could finish first,” Lance Cpl. Richard Yankovich said. “Then Staff Sergeant […]
By Clay Beyersdorfer Washington, D.C. — The U.S. Army revealed a new logo yesterday on social media as part of a larger rebrand. The new emblem features a bold, modern design sure to impress military enthusiasts and casual observers alike. However, there is one thing that the Army wants to make crystal clear: this logo […]
Tops in Blue bottoming out in 2016. (US Air Force photo) JOINT BASE SAN ANTONIO, Texas – Congressional approval for the 2023 National Defense Authorization Act (NDAA) includes $6.1 million to revive the Air Force’s popular “Tops In Blue” combat music & dance troupe, Duffel Blog has learned. Duffel Blog is a reader-supported publication. To […]
Coastie the Recruiting Robot boat, who is Coast Guard Recruiting Command’s mascot for some fucking reason (U.S. Coast Guard photo). By Slab Squatthrust Portsmouth, Va. — Recruiting Coast Guard personnel will not be a problem anymore says Commandant Adm. Linda Fagan, who announced on Friday that the service will now offer up to $115 in Bed, […]
By BYOBooyah BARSTOW, Texas — The atmosphere in the TOC—tactical operations center—is tense. Troops are in contact, pinned down by an enemy firing from cover. The radios are chaos as a platoon leader on the scene tries to provide a situation report without knowing how many enemy troops are attacking or from where. The TOC informs […]
By RJ Williams After 12 years of testing, two contractual resets, and three Congressional investigations, the U.S. Air Force has finally selected a contractor to develop and implement its 6th-Gen physical training program: Shake Weight. “We’re very excited to move forward with this,” the Pentagon’s Senior Air Force PT Officer, 1st Lt. Evan Hanford, said, […]
By As For Class PATRICK SPACE FORCE BASE, Fla. — The U.S. Space Force has announced the appointment of the first Jedi chaplain, a bold move aimed at providing spiritual support to the growing number of troops who follow the paths of the Force and extreme nerd culture. Jedi Master Jonathan Blaster, a longtime Star […]
WRIGHT-PATTERSON AFB — The Air Force Research Laboratory (AFRL) is showing its claws in the fight against giant balloons with an equally sized solution: giant cats as fearsome as they are cute. According to research scientist Colonel David Gilchrist, the Amazingly Large Feline (ALF) program is ready for this mission. Gilchrist said that AFRL originally […]