Hangin' on Posco Pier!
For d-bags that can’t get it right…
WASHINGTON — The White House has appointed retired Army Lt. Gen. Michael Flynn as a Special Envoy to the region between Vladimir Putin’s ass cheeks, which the administration recognizes as the most critical and sensitive area for negotiations to end the Ukraine war. Share “We will not follow the old ‘woke’ diplomacy method of involving […]
WASHINGTON — After the recent confirmation of former congresswoman, cult member, opinion news contributor, and foreign asset Tulsi Gabbard as America’s next Director of National Intelligence, Duffel Blog is weighing the pros and cons of having a bona fide Russian propagandist run a critical national security function. Share Pro: This will own the libs, so […]
CAMBRIDGE, Mass. — Theological scholars from around the globe and across faith traditions today came together in a conference and agreed that God, in fact, hates the infantry. The conclusion contradicts millennia of consensus that God loves the infantry. According to Dr. Edmund Thatchington, head of Heavenly Interventions in Human Tragedy at Oxford University, this […]
COLORADO SPRINGS, Colo. — In response to worries recently expressed by Canadian officers at the adjacent North American Aerospace Defense Command (NORAD) building, a spokesman for U.S. Northern Command has assured reporters that Canada had absolutely nothing to worry about regarding a new draft Operations Plan for an invasion of the country code-named Crimson. “I […]
WASHINGTON — The newly commissioned Department of Government Efficiency has announced plans to triple veteran suicide rates in an effort officials say will cut government spending and reduce the federal deficit. DOGE, the brainchild of Elon Musk and President Donald Trump, released a list of proposals to reduce government waste, which includes eliminating VA disability […]
WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump has nominated the Giant Floating Pile of Trash to serve as the next commandant of the U.S. Coast Guard, the White House announced Tuesday. If confirmed, the Giant Floating Pile of Trash would be the first floating pile of garbage ever to lead a branch of the U.S. military. Share […]
YOKOSUKA, Japan — U.S. Navy Commander Jeremy Fogelson is the guy to call when it comes to a nuclear reactor core meltdown. But when it comes to love, ladies are looking elsewhere. Fogelson is still single even after multiple tours in Japan, temporary duty trips to the Philippines, and four voluntary individual augmentee assignments in […]
CAMP HANSEN, Okinawa — Hospitalman First Class Robert F. Kennedy was recently made the leading petty officer of the currently deployed Battalion Aid Station for the Second Battalion, Seventh Marine Regiment. It’s a move he has long desired but does not come without controversy. “I am making Havoc healthy again,” says Kennedy, the son of […]
WASHINGTON — In the middle of the night on Jan. 29, a terrible aviation accident occurred when an Army Blackhawk helicopter collided with a regional airliner, killing everyone onboard both aircraft. After such a horrific tragedy, citizens across the United States have many questions: how did this happen? What went wrong? These are best left […]
WASHINGTON — Benevolence and compassion won the day as the Pentagon announced that the United States Space Force will be allowed to sleep indoors tonight due to the unusually cold weather gripping much of the country by the balls. The decision comes as temperatures across the nation plunge to record lows, and meteorologists warn of […]