Hangin' on Posco Pier!
For d-bags that can’t get it right…
Take the time to take the pictures, you’re gonna need it on an office wall someday. WASHINGTON, D.C. – The Navy has introduced a new initiative aimed at promoting more douchebag naval aviation officers to higher ranks. The Douchebag to Admiral Program (DAP) is a strategic effort set to launch in May in hopes of […]
Seriously? None of the explosions I’ve ever seen looked like that. HOLLYWOOD, CA — A new call center funded by multiple Hollywood production companies is starting to realize just how much veterans who have never deployed care about the details of military movies. The new complaint center’s call-handling software nearly crashed after being flooded […]
Just a bunch of guys having a bunch of fun. YOUR BASE, Your Current/Upcoming Duty Station — We regret to inform you that your entire section will be slated to (finally) attend a groundbreaking ceremony in the near future. We can imagine your surprise. We ourselves are surprised. After all, it seemed only yesterday someone […]
Yep. It all has to go. CAPITOL HILL, Washington, DC— A House subcommittee will begin deliberations next week over a data security bill that could force the VA to delete personally identifiable information (PII) from military headstones and memorials, officials confirm. The Subcommittee on Health is scheduled to review bipartisan House Resolution 6764, the Service […]
Really could go either way at this point FORT CAVAZOS, TX — In a dilemma increasingly common among service members, Army Specialist John Richards is facing a tough career decision: whether to start a professional profile on LinkedIn or to dive into the world of content creation on OnlyFans. “It’s a real crossroads moment for […]
Swipe right for flightline pics! WASHINGTON – As dating in America shifts online, so too are Soldiers, Sailors, Airmen, and Marines, and yeah, Coast and Space Guardians increasingly moving out of strip clubs and onto Tinder to find love. While the changing face of courtship has launched a million new DEERS workflows, it also opens […]
I mean, is anyone else tired of waiting around for the inevitable? EVERYWHERE, USA— On Jan. 28, 2024, three US soldiers were tragically killed in a drone attack in Jordan, orchestrated and carried out by an Iranian militia group. US forces responded on February 2, striking 85 targets affiliated with the Iranian Islamic Revolutionary Guard […]
A slime-covered but victorious Nasrullah Shadazai rejoices. NEW YORK CITY, N.Y. — Nickelodeon’s Kids’ Choice Awards has selected the Global War on Terror as the winner of its annual “Coolest War for Kids” award for a record 23rd year in a row. “Whether it’s the ability to get blown up in an errant drone strike, […]
An oopsie? Nope, just pure naval awesomeness. THE OPEN OCEAN – The United States Navy has once again rammed ___ into a ___, fulfilling its quarterly task of aggressively posturing its capabilities against anyone who would defy them. This is just another in a set of brilliant crashes. Let us not forget the time a ___ crashed […]
Wilcox plans to eliminate the bulldozer to “optimize soldier fitness” FORT LIBERTY, N.C. — Following reports that base garbage bins at Fort Liberty were overflowing with uncollected trash, garrison commander Col. John Wilcox announced a groundbreaking new program that he promised would solve the garbage problem in no time. “I’m amazed no one’s thought of […]