Hangin' on Posco Pier!
For d-bags that can’t get it right…
THE PENTAGON — Judging by the wistful and forlorn nature of the Pentagon’s latest policy on the use of artificial intelligence, experts say it is clear that the document’s author wrote it during a difficult breakup with his AI girlfriend. “There’s clearly something personal about this policy. It focuses far too little on information security […]
WASHINGTON — After weeks of meetings with senators where he tried to explain that he didn’t actually mean what he said two months ago about women and gays in the military, Secretary of Defense nominee Pete Hegseth announced a new policy that he would implement on his first day in office. “There have been a […]
PENSACOLA, Fla. — A fight broke out yesterday outside of Pine Forest High School between Marine recruiter Sgt. Bayago Galvan and former Florida representative Matt Gaetz. Based on security footage from the school, Gaetz threw the first punch, but Galvan quickly followed with a swift right uppercut to Gaetz’s incredibly punchable jaw. Share Accounts differ […]
FORT LIBERTY, N.C. — Following recent domestic terrorist attacks, senior leaders of the Special Operations community have organized a hasty symposium at Joint Special Operations Command headquarters to address a critical vulnerability revealed by the tragedies, sources confirmed today. Share “Our community has faced its share of struggles in recent years, and the events of […]
It’s been an incredible year here at Duffel Blog, and we couldn’t have done it without your support. Thank you for sticking with us, laughing with us, and sharing our stories far and wide. As the year winds down, we’re taking a much-needed holiday break to recharge our batteries (and maybe polish our sarcasm skills). […]
‘Twas the week before Christmas In a room at NORAD When a spokesman came forward Crestfallen and sad “We like to be festive It’s a season of joy Spending time with our families And tracking our boy. ’Our boy’ is, of course That merry old sprite Who brings gifts and some cheer On each cold […]
COLORADO SPRINGS, Colo. — Army officials have launched a new campaign to combat food insecurity at Fort Carson with Sally Struthers as a celebrity spokeswoman. Dubbed “Operation Star-Spangled Sustenance,” the initiative aims to feed hungry soldiers for just $1.23 a day — less than the cost of a cup of coffee or a single chicken […]
BEDFORD, Mass. — Commissary sources described a hectic scene Tuesday when retired Army Staff Sergeant Hampton K. Vitzke read the entire label of a can of Campbell’s Chunky Sirloin Burger with Country Vegetables out loud at Hanscomb Air Force Base. A veteran of Vietnam — as verified by his hat, vest, bicep, and Buick — […]
WASHINGTON — Facing the possibility of orders from a second Trump administration to attack fellow American citizens, senior defense officials are privately sharing their concerns about obeying such orders at current funding levels, sources confirmed today. “These orders are not something that we would ever…could ever…do”, said an Army official speaking on condition of anonymity. […]
FORT LIBERTY, N.C. — Following the announcement of President-elect Trump’s new Department of Government Efficiency, which will combat government inefficiency and waste under the leadership of Elon Musk and Vivek Ramaswamy, word has spread rapidly that the new department will need liaisons to the world’s most efficient, streamlined, and lethal organization: the United States military. “I […]