Hangin' on Posco Pier!
For d-bags that can’t get it right…
HEAVEN — The soul of Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.) was tossed out of the Heaven Officer’s Club just hours after he entered the bar for angelic military officers, where witnesses say he was sliding shirtless across the bar top while shouting “carrier landings!” or as his fellow naval aviators simply described it, “just being John […]
HOLLYWOOD — “Ruff, ruff! What’s that girl? You’ll never be happy with an airframe that tries air to ground troop support that can also land on a carrier? Aww, girl. Thanks, Lassie!” And so starts the recently discovered lost tape from the beloved 1950s-1970s television show Lassie, where 19-year-old Timmy Martin, now off the farm and […]
THE PENTAGON — As part of a push to entice more young, strapping men to the Navy, the service announced a new campaign to increase the utilization of phallic imagery throughout the service, sources confirmed today. The Navy plans to double-down on efforts to place penis-shaped objects in recruitment materials and in naval workplaces around […]
PARIS — A recent discovery by a team of archaeologists in France has revealed that at least one Roman soldier perished in Rome’s Gallic Wars while waiting for Julius Caesar to sign his missing gear statement, sources confirmed today. The team found the soldier’s remains buried with a sheet of papyrus which clearly indicates it […]
The following is a point/counterpoint article written by former Spc. Aaron Johnson, who lost his leg after his Humvee was hit by an improvised explosive device in Afghanistan in 2008. POINT: I lost my left leg 10 years ago. The docs told me I’d still live a normal life. COUNTERPOINT: He’s only four, but my […]
NATICK, Mass. — Army leaders have announced their next line of meals, ready to eat (MRE) will be four times the size of a regular meal and feature new items such as a double deep-fried jalapeño cheese ravioli burrito, sources confirmed today. The announcement of MRE #38, which has already been dubbed a “Mega MRE,” […]
NEW YORK — The United Nations’ Department of Peacekeeping Operations (DPKO) has quietly announced the postponement of its planned invasion of the United States for the 26th year in a row, sources confirmed today. “We’ve suffered another setback, unfortunately,” said Jean-Pierre Lacroix, under-secretary General for Peacekeeping Operations, to a small group of reporters atop the […]
FORT POLK, La. – Outgoing Specialist Tyrone Miller held a stirring and widely attended Change of Co-Sham ceremony at the smoke pit next to the North Fort Troop Store Monday, sources close to Miller report. “I want you all to remember not only what we did during my time here, but what we avoided doing […]
An Op-Ed by Marine Staff Sgt. Frank Juarez, while awaiting his bi-annual HIV blood draw. Listen, HN3 Jones. I’m not trying to tell you how to do your job, but I can see your hands are shaking a bit as you’re preparing that needle and supplies to draw my blood. How about you take a […]
Got a room or building filled with insurgents right in front of you and need to clear it? An Air Force combat controller knows the best way forward. As an elite special operations airman skilled in the art of call for fire and precision air strikes, here is step-by-step guide. 1. Identify the number of […]