Hangin' on Posco Pier!
For d-bags that can’t get it right…
The group said it wished it thought of the idea.
FORT BRAGG, N.C. — Special operators will no longer be allowed to wear black face paint after biting criticism from activist groups, sources confirmed today. The move is aimed to stop the controversial practice of channeling one’s inner black dude before infiltrating a compound. “We are not 100 percent woke, but this is a big step,” […]
NORFOLK, Va. — Filming of the highly anticipated sequel to 1986 hit “Top Gun” was halted last week after the entire fleet of CGI F-35s was grounded, sources confirm today. “Top Gun: Maverick“, which began filming in mid-August aboard the USS Abraham Lincoln, stars Tom Cruise returning to his iconic role as U.S. Naval aviator Pete […]
MEXICO CITY — Speaking to reporters at his Día de los Muertos press conference, the Grim Reaper confirmed that he will dress as U.S. Secretary of Defense James Mattis when he goes trick or treating with his daughter this Halloween. “I’m a huge fan,” the spiritual embodiment of death told reporters today. “I think the […]
PARIS — Walter Benson, a retired BOLT-117 laser-guided bomb, came crashing through the ceiling of the Louvre in Paris as part of a laser-guided tour of Europe, sources confirmed today. “At about 1:48 AM yesterday, the first explosion happened in the level-one ceiling over Italian paintings,” said Jean-Luc Martinez, president of the Louvre. “It was […]
WASHINGTON — Sagacious officers across all branches of the armed forces are only indulging in five rosewater scones per day on the average, according to a report released today. The 14-page study, published in this month’s issue of online food journal “Gastronomica”, shows that the palates of our nation’s leaders have changed dramatically over the last […]
WASHINGTON — The Office of the Chief of Staff of the Army has issued a new All-Army Activities message, or ALARACT, empowering military police with punitive authority to issue monetary citations for infractions of Army regulations such as uniform wear and appearance, hair, grooming, and height-and-weight standards, sources confirmed today. Local military police detachments are now […]
WASHINGTON — US forces reportedly did stuff in Afghanistan or something in an attack on whomever in some place in whatever province, sources confirmed today. Gen. He’s Lying To You praised the operation, telling reporters that this was the most effective use of munition that hasn’t been effective since the Gulf War. “We were absolutely […]
FORT BRAGG, N.C. — Army leaders directed a non-commissioned officer to medical screening for a traumatic brain injury after he advocated for soldiers and displayed compassion to fellow human beings, sources confirmed today.All Posts Colleagues grew concerned last month when they witnessed Sgt. Andrew Hawthorne having rational conversations at a reasonable volume with lower-ranking service […]
“This is totally unfair,” said Maj. Richard “Kinda” Small