Month: September 2025

Hegseth announces Pentagon will stop fighting wars, focus on lethality


WASHINGTON — In a surprising pivot that has upended the national security establishment, Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth announced this morning that the Department of Defense will cease all operations related to warfighting and instead shift its entire focus toward lethality. “War is not lethality," Hegseth said in an announcement video while wearing a sequined […]

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Trump recalls Jan 6ers to D.C.


WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump is calling for the unorthodox activation of January 6th veterans to augment the recent extension of a National Guard troops deployed in the nation’s capital, White House sources confirmed late last night. The president’s latest domestic show of militarized force follows closely on the heels of his August 11th directive […]

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Air Force base renamed after Ashli Babbitt


HE PENTAGON — Following the surprise decision to provide military funeral honors to Air Force veteran and January 6th tourist Ashli Babbitt, Under Secretary of the Air Force Matthew Lohmeier announced today that Elmendorf Air Force Base will be renamed in her honor. “Honor delayed is honor denied,” stated Lohmeier after quickly looking under his […]

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ICE partners with Taliban to round up Afghan interpreters


WASHINGTON — U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) announced today that it has entered into a “groundbreaking and mutually beneficial security arrangement” with the Taliban to help identify, track, and deport Afghan interpreters who aided American forces during the 20-year war, along with their spouses and children. “America comes first — not foreigners, allies, or […]

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