Hangin' on Posco Pier!
ROYAL AIR FORCE LAKENHEATH, UNITED KINGDOM — In a recent ceremony emblematic of today’s broken Defense Department, Captain Lacie “Sonic” Hester, an F-15 Eagle weapons system officer, was awarded the Silver Star for what some have described as a significant lapse in judgment for committing warfighting in the face of the enemy. “I’ve always striven […]
KURSK, Russia — Following the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea (DPRK) deployment of an estimated 10,000 fresh troops to assist their Russian allies, North Korean soldiers assigned to the front lines of the Ukrainian battlefield have been amazed by the comfort of European combat. Defense officials say that while language issues have proven problematic, adjusting […]
MOSCOW — In a move that Western analysts are calling “an act of sheer desperation” and “wildly Russian,” the Russian Ministry of Defense has unveiled a new policy requiring all soldiers to participate in a “Bring Your Child to Work” program. The initiative, aimed at boosting morale and addressing the military’s dwindling manpower, is now […]
WASHINGTON — The Biden administration on Sunday finally authorized Ukraine to use the Army Tactical Missile System (ATACMS) inside Russia, signaling a major policy shift after months of indecision that is totally not meant to hamstring the next administration, sources confirmed today. The missile system has long been on the Ukrainian list of vital armaments […]
WASHINGTON — The Pentagon has begun preparing versions of current Defense Secretary Lloyd Austin’s daily information briefs for incoming Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth to answer critical questions, such as ‘Who the fuck is Pete Hegseth?’, sources confirmed today. “The purpose of these briefs is to facilitate a smooth transition of power by ensuring incoming […]
Photo by Aleksey Kashmar on Unsplash OCCUPIED AND UNOCCUPIED UKRAINE AND RUSSIA — Kidnapped war orphans, shattered parents, deeply scarred veterans, and other victims of Russia’s horrifying, unprovoked, immoral, unlawful invasion and occupation of Ukraine agreed this week that they are glad voters in key states in the U.S. election voted their conscience. “It’s just […]
THE PENTAGON — Navy officials today announced the creation of a new rating, or military occupational specialty, to enable concubines to serve alongside elite Navy SEALs. Share “For the last time, this is not the same as SWCC,” or naval special warfare combat crewmen, said Rear Adm. Charles W. Brown. “We are adding concubines to […]
SAN FERNANDO VALLEY, Ca. — Veteran porn actress Mia Khalifa, perhaps best known for combining international affairs commentary with a significant tolerance for semen, recently released a video via social media that has left many of her veteran fans more likely to scratch their big heads than their small ones. Khalifa, who first came into […]
Photo Credit: Gage Skidmore Following President-elect Donald Trump’s selection of Pete Hegseth as his future Secretary of Defense, Duffel Blog has confirmed the names of several other top contenders who were also considered by Trump even up to the last minute. This list is provided only for information to Department of Defense personnel, and Duffel […]
The Old Guard can stay home that day. WASHINGTON — Reinvigorating his defense of the unborn that stopped most forward progress in the Department of Defense for the better part of a year, Sen. Tommy Tuberville (R-AL) announced today he would place a hold on Veterans Day until the Pentagon eliminates an abortion policy allowing […]