Hangin' on Posco Pier!
By As For Class FORT IRWIN, Calif. — The US Army has been experimenting with new HMMWV technology that people with limited imagination are calling “a gamechanger.” According to sources, the Army has discovered that a HMMWV driven at exactly 88 miles per hour and hitting a bump just right will travel through time. Physicists […]
By Cat Astronaut The US Air Force has shot down a military spouse over a base in Texas after mistaking the “large, blimp-like object” for a Chinese spy balloon. “All these spy balloon sightings have had us on high alert. When we saw this globular, bulbous mass lurching towards base we had to take it […]
By Gray Sea Liu SAN DIEGO, CA — Lt. Cmdr. Sean O’Brian is committed to a life of service at sea and is known for working long hours in order to get the job done. This fact is well known to his division officers and sailors, who desperately try to get home by 1900 each […]
By R.J. Williams The Air Force is breaking new ground in an age of telework by allowing pilots and other high op-tempo airmen to accomplish drug testing online. A new program will allow long-distance urination and sample collection. Ordinarily, an impartial observer must see urine leave the body and enter a collection cup. This ensures […]
BEIJING – People’s Liberation Army generals have admitted to rising apprehensions about a war with the United States after discovering that a key component of the US strategy is love. Alarm mounted in Beijing after intelligence analysts obtained an internal memo by Air Force Lt. Gen. Michael Minihan from an airman’s private email. In the […]
By Robin Berger NAVAL AIR STATION JOINT RESERVE BASE FORT WORTH, Texas — Air Force test pilot Capt. Steven “Winwood” Wodnall christened the remains of his Lockheed Martin F-35B Lightning II aircraft today by busting a champagne bottle over the still smoldering wreckage, sources confirm. Duffel Blog is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts […]
SEYMOUR-JOHNSON AFB, N.C. — Capt. Erik “Big Chungus” Simmons found himself in trouble today when the big dumb idiot drove his F-15E away from the gas station with the pump still attached. The KC-135 crew saved the day by calling an emergency breakaway and building separation between the two aircraft. Subscribe now “We were mid-give […]
Photo by Ben White on Unsplash By Slab Squatthrust ORLANDO, Fla. — In an effort to promote life jacket use for children of all ages, the US Coast Guard released a coloring book of drowned corpses and introduced a new mascot, Bloatie, the Carcass Full of Crabs. Duffel Blog is a reader-supported publication. To receive […]
GLENDALE, Ariz. – For the first time in Super Bowl history, the pregame flyover was conducted by an entirely female-crewed Chinese spy balloon, according to sources. Duffel Blog is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. “Representation matters,” commented NFL commissioner Roger Goodell, “I […]
GLENDALE, Ariz.—Super Bowl LVII may be a showdown between the Eagles and the Chiefs but there will be an onscreen face more familiar face than Patrick Mahomes’—full-time social media influencer and part-time active-duty naval officer Lt. Janie Schmuckatelli, who will be attending the game on behalf of the Navy! Duffel Blog is a reader-supported publication. […]