Hangin' on Posco Pier!
Dear reader, Duffel Blog will be taking a little summer break starting today. Your humble editor could use some R&R to unwind, spend time with family, and patiently wait for the Russians to once again do something stupid that’ll be worth writing about. I greatly appreciate your understanding. We’ll be back in your inbox on […]
By BYOBooyah AUSTIN, Texas – Weeks after rescinding his offer to buy Twitter, Elon Musk has placed a bid to purchase Army Knowledge Online (AKO) for $28 Billion from the Department of Defense (DoD). The platform, which was sunset by the DoD in 2021 and did not work correctly for years prior to that, was not […]
By BYOBooyah MONTGOMERY, Ala. – Over 160 years since its founding and as part of a rebranding that has lasted nearly as long, the Confederate Candle Company announced Thursday that it plans to release a series of new scents. The company announced that their new “Heritage Not Hate” line will include heavy perfumes to cover […]
By W.E. Linde AMERICA — Each year, millions of Americans flock to the National Mall in Washington D.C., Valley Forge National Historical Park in Pennsylvania, or any number of beautiful and somber memorials across the country dedicated to those who answered the nation’s call. And while most memorials are soul-touching expressions of artistic homage, some […]
By Off the Beaten Path TAMPA, Florida — The Coast Guard has finally rendered its opinion on Row v. Wade by offering support for both pro-beach and pro-water camps, sources confirmed today. “We want every American to know that we support them in their choice of summer activity. Their body, their choice!” exclaimed Chief Petty Officer […]
By Dick Scuttlebutt REDSTONE ARSENAL, Alabama — The Army admitted Monday that the poison supply on one of its major research and development bases had become severely contaminated with drinking water. Duffel Blog is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support our work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Col. Bill Macy, […]
By Bad Lawyer FORT HOOD, Texas — Army Culinary Specialist William Boyardee was served with an Article 15 for desserting his post during the meal service period at Fort Hood on Wednesday. Sources say Boyardee allegedly desserted his post for at least two hours, serving individual pudding cups and mini cheesecakes to any soldier who […]
By Paul Silk WASHINGTON — As every branch of the U.S. Military continues struggling to attract new recruits this year, a recent ad highlights the Navy’s new recruitment strategy that was inspired by an unlikely source: Renowned Navy recruitment expert Leonard “Fat Leonard” Francis. Duffel Blog is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and […]
By Cat Astronaut Following his recent marriage at the age of 71, the Department of Defense has confirmed that former Marine Corps general and Secretary of Defense James Mattis has sought official approval to finally move out of the barracks. “Of course, there’s a few steps he’ll have to complete before we give the final […]
By W.E. Linde LANGLEY, Virginia — Analysts from the Central Intelligence Agency and other representatives of the U.S. Intelligence Community warned today that China may be able to develop its own Top Gun movie in as little as two years. “Until recently, the [Intelligence Community] consensus was that China may never be able to field […]