Hangin' on Posco Pier!
By Bull Winkle MOSCOW — Russian President Vladimir Putin has named retired Army Lt. Gen. Michael Flynn as National Security Advisor for the new Donetsk People’s Republic. Putin said the appointment responded to requests from “somebody, probably a lot” of Donetsk citizens and that “it does not break any international laws that matter.” Putin described […]
By RED Friday ATLANTIC CITY, NJ — John Taylor, who says he was going to join the military but something came up, says he’s just about to go fight in Ukraine, too. “Yeah man I’m all set up with a group of volunteers to go kick some ass over there, we’re going to head out […]
By W.E. Linde MOSCOW — Russian President Vladimir Putin today offered an unexpected olive branch to his Ukrainian counterpart, President Volodymyr Zelenskyy, by inviting him to meet for peace talks “and to drink some very delicious tea. For friendship.” “President Zelenskyy has shown surprising courage in resisting my demands,” Putin said during an interview with […]
By RED Friday SUITLAND, MD— The Director of Naval Intelligence, Vice Adm. Jeffrey Trussler, has been asking employees if they’ve heard about the Ukraine thing going on, sources report. “The DNI came in asking if I’d heard of anything out of the ordinary going on in Ukraine,” Capt. Jim Porter said. “Obviously I hadn’t. I […]
By Zoltar the Malignant AUSTIN, Texas — SpaceX CEO Elon Musk has answered a plea from Ukraine’s embattled government for a revolutionary athletic supporter sturdy enough to hold President Volodymyr Zelenskyy’s gigantic pair of balls. Within hours of receiving the request via Twitter from Ukrainian Vice Prime Minister Mykhailo Fedorov for a jockstrap capable of […]
Dear reader, Today marks the 10-year anniversary of Duffel Blog. It seems surreal to even write those words. When I launched Duffel Blog on March 4, 2012, I thought it would be little more than a creative outlet for me to poke fun at the military life I knew so well after eight years in […]
By Cat Astronaut As war rages in Ukraine, the U.S. government has called former President Barack Obama out of retirement to “drone strike some bitches.” “Mr. President, the world needs you now more than ever,” current President Joe Biden said in his first State of the Union address last evening. “There has never in history […]