Hangin' on Posco Pier!
By BYOBooyah PENTAGON – On the heels of long conflicts in Iraq and Afghanistan, neither of which involved enemy sea power, the U.S. Navy is on the hunt for a new adversary. Multiple sources within the Department of Defense indicate that American warships may soon be setting their sights on the world’s dolphin population. Though […]
By As for Class In the pantheon of military traditions and secrets, none has been more protected than what should have been obvious all along: warrant officers aren’t real. Yes. It’s true. Just like Santa, the Tooth Fairy, and Marines who don’t hate being Marines, it turns out that warrant officers are just figments of […]
By Slab Squatthurst SPACE – It was another mundane watch on the USS Buzz Aldrin and you were just grabbing a quick protein snack before your shift when suddenly you sense what feels like a huge shit or an alien growing inside you. However, Culinary Specialist 2nd Class Harold Rubio nervously denies his hard-boiled eggs […]
By Cat Astronaut As tensions rise in Eastern Europe, the North Atlantic Treaty Organization has announced it is putting its defense of the continent on hold until the U.S. Army formally implements the Army Combat Fitness Test. “While defending the western world from a resurgent and belligerent Russia is important, it is much more important […]
By Taskforce Football Bat AMERICA — With the nation moving into a critical midterm election year, veterans around the country are vying to become the next spineless piece of shit who will toe the line for their party leadership in Congress. Campaigns across the country are promising voters more of the same old dog whistles […]
By W.E. Linde THE PENTAGON – After media reports that U.S. forces had struck a Syrian dam that had been on a “No-Strike List” because of the potential risk of killing thousands of civilians, senior Pentagon officials admitted that military planners accidentally mistook the No-Strike List (NSL) for the completely different No, Strike List (N,SL). […]