Hangin' on Posco Pier!
By W.E. Linde YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD, U.S.A. – Success requires courage and sacrifice. That’s true in war, in life, and in getting all the trick-or-treat candy you can carry. As a Navy SEAL, I know this firsthand. I was born in the woods of the American heartland, where as a youth I hunted boar with my […]
By Paul J. O’Leary CASPER, Wy. – Sources close to Dick Cheney report the former vice president has been looking nearly 20 years younger since the death of former Secretary of State Colin Powell. A Secret Service agent who requested anonymity reported seeing the former head of KBR doing morning windsprints, practicing break dancing, and […]
By Maxx Butthurt With all the negative stories coming out of Afghanistan during the final days of the United States’ troop withdrawal, at least one veteran has chosen to put aside his weapons and focus on the future. Duffel Blog had the chance to sit down with Mohammed Rasheed, a former squad leader with two […]
By Whiskey Fueled Tirade JOINT BASE SAN ANTONIO, Texas – Hundreds of airmen starved to death after the base dining facilities ran out of gourmet foodstuffs, including truffles and wagyu beef, sources confirmed today. “Last month we had to close down the sushi bar and now this,” Lt. Gen. Marshall B. Webb, commander of the […]
By W.E. Linde TAMPA, Fla – U.S. special operators have a critical new capability in their arsenals now, after ten officers graduated this week from U.S. Special Operations Command’s new Snack Officer, or “SNACK-O” course. “Special ops teams are often inserted into denied territory for extended periods of time,” explained SNACK-O course manager Maj. Frankl… […]
By Cobra Commander WASHINGTON D.C. — The Department of Defense announced an initiative to replace 550-cord with a new light-weight 549-cord version of the fieldcraft mainstay. “Researchers found that service-members rarely use that 550th pound,” claimed Army Spokesperson Maj. Tiffany Springs. “Up to 549 pounds? Sure, you use that on any given field exercise. But […]
By Clay Beyersdorfer VERDANSK – Warzone player and Facebook group administrator Chuck Maxwell is refusing to use a self-revive kit he announced to his teammates Wednesday evening, after reportedly “doing his own research.” “Something about it [the self-revive kit] just doesn’t add up for me,” Maxwell said as he bled out in the Superstore parking […]
By Zoltar the Malignant SYRACUSE, N.Y. — Air Force 1st Lt. Jack Livingston eliminated a senior al-Qaida leader with his Reaper drone while simultaneously letting his parents know that their newest grandchild has a dong this week. Seconds after the 500-lb. JDAM loosed by the Reaper slammed into the terrorist’s compact car half a world […]
By Slab Squatthrust The following regards the many resources provided to families in the United States Armed Forces. The point is presented by a Department of Defense Work Life spokesperson. The rebuttal is offered by Capt. George Vassalakis, an enlisted detailer and part of Navy Manning Plan (NMP) via MyNavy Assignments (MNA). POINT: The military […]
By Cat Astronaut Evil Bad Guys Supervillainy Capitalism Socialism Marxism Communism…Wait, we already did that one Magic Ghosts Skullduggery Those meddling kids Multi-Domain Operations Network-Centric Warfare Any doctrinal concept developed by the Department of Defense Sin Anti-Terrorism Wars Drugs…Wait, we already did that one, too Wars on Terrorism Wars on Wars on Terrorism Wars on […]