Hangin' on Posco Pier!
By As for Class Recent advancements in ponytails for women have progressed the Army and other military services. But before ponytails were approved for women there was a memorandum from 1985 to approve mullets for men, and today it was finally signed. “If women can wear ponytails, it’s time to let men wear mullets,” American […]
By Cobra Commander FORT BRAGG, N.C. — The Pentagon announced that United States servicemembers would be required to get the COVID-19 vaccination by September 15th. A few soldiers, however, have some issues with the new policy. “The yoke of tyranny, in the form of a 29th vaccination, fits poorly upon my shoulders,” Army Staff Sgt. […]
By Cat Astronaut JACKSONVILLE, N.C. — At a junior officer sleepover party over the weekend, fellow partygoers dared Marine 2nd. Lt. Dustin McBride to go into the bathroom with the lights off and chant “sergeant major” in the mirror three times, sources say. “I’m not afraid of Sergeant Major!” McBride reportedly said before the other […]
By Lieutenant Dan WASHINGTON — The National Guard, nicknamed Minutemen ever since the colonial militia was organized in 1636, has been renamed Permanentmen after recently achieving its 1000th deployment in the last decade. It came as late recognition that the Guard has been on constant duty since forever, whenever federal, state, local, or foreign author… […]
By W.E. Linde CINCINNATI, Ohio – William “Wild Bill” Kelso, who as a corporal in the U.S. Army helped storm the beaches of Normandy during World War II, suspected that something big was planned for his 97th birthday. But he never guessed that, as friends and family celebrated his special day, he’d experience his greatest […]
By As for Class The Coast Guard has announced a party to end all parties, as every Coast Guard installation is being sent boatloads of wine coolers to kick off the um-teenth birthday of the USCG. “Gosh, we’re pretty serious about this thing,” said John Sumpter, a Coast Guard spokesman. “We’ve been making the cooks […]
By Blondes Over Baghdad FORT BENNING, Ga. – Command Sgt. Major Harold Bellmont of the 1-325th Transportation Brigade stopped by the smoke pit to bond with the troops over some “funny stories” Monday, leaving the gathered soldiers to wonder if Bellmont understood the definition of hazing. “He was looking at us with these wide eyes, expecting […]