Hangin' on Posco Pier!
By W.E. Linde NATIONAL TRAINING CENTER — Based on lessons learned from the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq, the Pentagon unveiled a newly-overhauled Meals Ready to Eat (MRE) concept intended to fuel soldiers in future conflicts. The new Meals Ready to Absorb (MRA) replace the often scarcely digestible MRE food with what most combat forces […]
“Airman Jones (actually Gen. Charles Q. Brown) waiting to be let into the dining facility.” By W.E. Linde FORT MEADE — The Armed Forces Network (AFN) has canceled its long-planned series “Undercover Boss: Joint Chiefs Edition” before airing a single episode today. According to multiple sources, the cancellation was primarily because almost no one was […]
By Cat Astronaut As more citizens call for increased data protection in an era of constant interconnectedness, the giant, fiery all-seeing eye perched atop the National Security Agency headquarters building has vowed to protect Americans’ privacy. “We at the NSA are dedicated to full transparency and the protection of our citizens’ privacy,” projected the… Read […]
By Cat Astronaut CAMP LEJEUNE, N.C. – A Marine Corps commanding officer was relieved this week after demonstrating a “total lapse of judgment” by tolerating completely normal and unavoidable amounts of human fallibility and error in his Marines. Lt. Col. Todd Greene had served as a battalion commander for nearly a year before higher leadership […]
By Whiskey Fueled Tirade FT. BELVOIR, Va. — As COVID numbers decline and the Department of Defense begins reopening non-essential services on bases, Army retiree Mike Flynn is just happy to be back in the post-gym, standing around for hours in the locker room wearing nothing but a smile. “It really feels like things are […]
By Whiskey Fueled Tirade CAPITOL HILL — Democratic Congressman Adam Smith narrowly avoided eye contact last week with a group of service chiefs panhandling in the halls of the House Office Building, sources confirmed today. “Excuse me, sir, my ships ran out of gas on the way to the Taiwan Strait,” a bedraggled Adm. Mike […]
By An A-10 Well kid, you did it. You served your country, fought the good fight, and now it sounds like you’re off to greener pastures. But wow, what a ride, huh, buddy? You’ve kicked ass, Strike Eagle, and now you’ve earned a little R & R. What’s that? You’re not the F-15E? Oh. What’s […]
By Red Friday ANNAPOLIS, Md. — The Navy cited its desperate need for another clueless ensign to be assigned to a ship where they’re sure to screw everything up in denying a Naval Academy graduate’s request to defer his service and play in the NFL, sources confirmed today. Cameron Kinley, a star cornerback on the […]
By The Shammer THE PENTAGON — The Department of Defense’s headquarters was swept by chaos and confusion this morning after Gen. Mark Milley, the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, conducted a no-notice health-and-wellness check of the on-post barracks, sources confirmed today. “Oh shit! Move out of the way, guys!” yelled a half-dressed, pot-bellied […]
By Blondes Over Baghdad PENTAGON — After years of clinical studies and field testing, Sgt. Maj. of the Army Michael A. Grinston has announced that the Army would begin a rigorous, six-event mental fitness test. “For far too long, we’ve treated mental fitness as an additional duty,” Grinston said. “With this new test, we’ll be […]