Hangin' on Posco Pier!
By Call Sign Buttercup FORT MEADE — Capt. Olivia McCord is leaving the Army and military-industrial complex to work as a planner in the wedding-industrial complex. In her announcement last week, McCord said that she’s thankful for all that the war machine has provided to her: a stable paycheck, superficially impressive awards, and lifelong benefits […]
By Cat Astronaut WASHINGTON — The U.S. Space Force has placed a temporary ban on all landings on the surface of the moon after discovering an endangered lunar tortoise habitat there. “Effective immediately, all moon landings, moon amphibious assaults, and low-gravity live-fire ranges are prohibited,” read a memo posted on the Space Force’s website. “As […]
Concept art released by the Air Force Research Lab in 2018 shows a potential next-generation fighter concept or F-X. (Air Force Research Laboratory) By Scheisskopf BETHESDA, Md. — Lockheed-Martin has unveiled a “6th Generation Fighter for the Middle Class” in response to the Biden administration’s interim National Security Strategic Guidance. “This aircraft’s lethality is a […]
By BYOBooyah THE PENTAGON — The Department of the Navy is not mad at all at the Marine Corps for failing to get the Navy a Mother’s Day gift for the 245th year in a row, but people familiar with the matter say it would’ve been nice to get some kind of acknowledgment like all […]
By Bull Winkle WASHINGTON — The U.S. Navy’s newest ship may not have the impact on maritime security that senior leaders intended, according to a new gender reveal mine developed by the Naval Weapons Research Laboratory (NRL). “The thing was just supposed to coat the side of the ship with tinted talcum powder,” said lab […]
By Lieutenant Dan COLORADO SPRINGS, Colo. — After bubbles were leveled during a recent combatant commanders conference, a record number of table-slaps occurred, according to sources. The potentially contentious conference, dubbed “Jargon 21,” could have quickly led to table-flipping and bubble-bursting. But instead, the assembled four-stars all ripped the… Read more
By W. E. Linde DAYTON, Ohio — A new traveling interactive exhibit at the National Museum of the United States Air Force gives patrons and military history lovers a chance to experience an aspect of military operations rarely mentioned in history books: defecation in austere locations. “When people normally visit a museum, they usually come […]
By Jordan Hemlock THE PENTAGON — Seeking to differentiate itself from near-peer competitor Domino’s, the Air Force has announced a new mission statement: “Airpower in 30 minutes or it’s free.” “The old mission statement was too focused on outdated concepts such as warfighting and multi-domain operations,” said Gen. Charles Q. Brown, Air Force chief of […]