Hangin' on Posco Pier!
By W.E. Linde MONTGOMERY, Ala. — The Air Force announced the opening of the first Military Officer Montessori School this week as part of an effort to invigorate the service’s various commissioning programs. Although MOMS will run alongside the traditional commissioning program located at Maxwell Air Force Base, the differences are readily apparent. “Traditional commissioning […]
By Stephen Flowers WASHINGTON — Secretary of the Army John E. Whitley announced late Friday the Army will implement mandatory quarterly “Don’t Invade the Capitol” online training. “After seeing a large number of past and present service members arrested for storming the U.S. Capitol on Jan. 6, we realized we needed to ensure our soldiers […]
By W.E. Linde HILLMAN, Mich. — History was made this week as the nation’s first Space Force Militia stood up a headquarters in Hillman, Michigan. Staffed out of a repurposed three-bedroom, two-bathroom mobile home, it is currently nestled between the M-32 Subway sandwich shop and a local VFW about an hour from Camp Grayling National […]
By Grumpy WASHINGTON — The Pentagon extended the deployment of National Guard troops on Monday amid reports of Guard units trying to return to armories in Maryland and Northern Virginia being stuck in traffic on the Beltway and Connecticut Avenue, sources confirmed today. “Jesus, D.C. drivers are the worst,” said Maryland National Guard 1st Lt. […]
By Bull Winkle WASHINGTON — Following the lukewarm success of the new Army Combat Fitness Test (ACFT), the Defense Department has concluded that only one path is clear: adoption of the test across the U.S. military. The ACFT includes six events designed to fairly gauge physical fitness for all soldiers, yet since kick-off in September […]
By MapleSausage UNDERWAY ON THE USS KEARSARGE — You know him, you love him, you hate him. He’s your Chief Petty Officer! But you’ve been underway for a while now and things are starting to seem a little batty. Here are six surefire ways to tell if your Chief has become a bonafide creature of […]
Dodge Charger (Photo: The Wheel Network/Youtube) By Blondes Over Baghdad WASHINGTON — In a blatant attempt to curry favor with first-tour enlistees, Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi has announced a Democrat-led plan to forgive debt troops have accrued on Dodge Chargers. “These brave young men and women are under a lot of pressure to […]
By BYOBooyah THE PENTAGON — The Pentagon has concluded the F-35 has failed to achieve the dreams it once had for the fighter jet after more than 20 years of development, but top military officials say they are not mad, just disappointed. “Every country wants their brand new fighter to evolve and do great things,” […]
By Cat Astronaut QUANTICO, Va. — In an effort to modernize the force for the future battlefield, a newly released Marine Corps budget for 2022 calls for more “beefy boys with machine guns,” sources confirmed today. “We’re faced with a growing threat from near-peer competitors like Russia and China,” said Marine Commandant Gen. David Berger. […]