Hangin' on Posco Pier!
Container Ship ‘Ever Given’ stuck in the Suez Canal, Egypt. (Photo: Pierre Markuse/Flickr) By Addison Blu SUEZ CANAL — The U.S. Navy is rejoicing after the container ship Ever Given blocked the Suez Canal for six days, marking the first time in recent history someone else’s boat fucked up worse than them. “Crashing into the bank […]
By Rock Or Something THE PENTAGON — Multiple sources in the Army Chaplain Corps have confirmed that Defense Secretary Lloyd Austin’s celebratory Passover seder turned Biblical when he swore to kill each military service’s firstborn budget request for the next cycle. “That was some Old Testament shit right there,” said Maj. Gen. Thomas L. Solhjem, […]
Duffel Blog can now add ‘mentioned in the congressional record’ to its list of accolades. On Wednesday, this scrappy little blog turned newsletter made national news after Congressman Pat Fallon (R-Texas) used information from a Duffel Blog article while questioning a witness testifying on behalf of the Southern Poverty Law Center. And boy, was it […]
By The Shammer Editor’s note: This article originally appeared on Military Transition Success, a website run by the Department of Defense that highlights military service members who successfully transitioned to civilian careers. Getting out of the military? Meet the former Marine infantryman who successfully transitioned from serving in the Marine Corps to serving up pies […]
By Dick Scuttlebutt on Sept. 6, 2017 MONTGOMERY, Ala. — The Southern Poverty Law Center has announced it would include prominent American veterans’ organizations American Legion and Veterans of Foreign Wars in its listing of hate groups, sources confirmed today. In a written statement signed by SPLC President J. Richard Cohen, the organization said both […]
By Bad Lawyer WASHINGTON — Top Pentagon officials are disappointed in the results of their $10 million ‘It’s Just a Little Prick’ awareness campaign to encourage military personnel to take the Covid-19 vaccine. The costly campaign resulted in only 10 additional vaccinations, meaning the cost per jab was roughly one million dollars. The Pentagon fast-trac… […]
By W.E. Linde MAR-A-LAGO, Fla. — After weeks of near-total diplomatic silence from North Korea following the inauguration of U.S. President Joe Biden, the Hermit Kingdom’s reclusive head of state unexpectedly appeared in this well-to-do Florida town in a whimsical, romantic flourish. Surprised residents watched as Kim Jong-Un stood just outside former President Donald Trump’s […]
Taking it to the extreme. (Photo: Stig Nygaard/Flickr) By Epic Blunder TEHRAN — In response to increasingly pedestrian incidents involving off-duty service members, the Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps (IRGC) has mandated a military-wide standup to root out weak-ass posers who lack the extreme ideologies of Iran’s “totally radical” warfighters. “The first… Read more
By Bull Winkle NEW YORK — Fox News personality Tucker Carlson is striking back at critics by making clear that he despises both male and female U.S. military uniforms, sources confirmed today. “People got my message wrong,” Carlson said during a segment on Thursday. “I’m not only against these weakness-inspiring uniforms for women. All of […]
By Blondes Over Baghdad WASHINGTON — After an 18-month bipartisan investigation, the Senate has released a scathing 1,200-page report on what you can do with a drunken sailor. “For too long, we’ve ignored one of the greatest challenges our sea services face,” said Sen. Tom O’Leary, chair of the Select Committee on Bilge, Scuppers, and […]