Hangin' on Posco Pier!
By Mr. Scorpio FORT HOOD, Texas — President Donald Trump issued a “full and unconditional pardon” on Wednesday to Fort Hood following similar legal reprieves for public figures guilty of crimes committed during his administration including Roger Stone, Paul Manafort, and Scott Baio. According to sources, Trump surprised officials with the Army’s III Corps… Read […]
Senior Airmen turned Acting Defense Secretary Davis McDaniels stares at a secure computer and silently wonders how he’ll ever be able to check Facebook now during working hours. By W.E. Linde JOINT BASE ANDREWS, Va. — After a tumultuous week of high-profile resignations from the Trump Administration and the withdrawal of the Homeland Security nominee, […]
By Slab Squatthrust YOUR BASE — It happens every year. We’re minding our own business when suddenly that staff sergeant or chief petty officer who made your life a living hell so many years ago has asked you to attend their inevitable retirement ceremony. If you frequently find yourself dreading the very sight of the […]
By Bad Lawyer WASHINGTON — Prominent barracks lawyer Pfc. Ruben Hernandez is advising President Trump to issue himself a pardon for inciting a deadly riot inside the nation’s Capitol on Thursday that should also shield him from criticism for an inevitable retweet in support of “QAnon shaman,” sources confirmed today. Hernandez, an Army infantryman stationed […]
By Bull Winkle WASHINGTON — A draft strategic plan titled Army Strategy for 2021: Baby Steps aims to tackle the Army’s toughest national military problems 15 minutes at a time, sources confirmed today. “The pace for national security direction pretty much matches the 24-hour news cycle,” said Col. Karen Bletchley of the Army Strategic Study […]
By Addison Blu As President Donald Trump continues to falsely claim he won the 2020 presidential election, wary Pentagon officials insisted on Monday that this year the U.S. military would only interfere in foreign elections. “It would be wrong to use our troops in a place where the law and the democratic process is already […]