Hangin' on Posco Pier!
THE PENTAGON — Gloriously spreading its wings as it clawed its way through layers of finely woven silk, a newly metamorphosed Secretary of the Navy emerged from its cocoon this morning to assume its post. “It’s so magnificent to see these SECNAVs transform from dull, harebrained corporate bureaucrats in their pupal stage into colorful secretaries…
FORT BENNING, GA. — After almost a year of soldiers coming in to consult with the brigade judge advocate general, Maj. Eric Habz wants to inform all soldiers that the JAG office can’t help you sue 3M. After the highly publicized case against 3M for defective earplugs, soldiers are now purchasing 3M masks in hopes…
WASHINGTON — The announcement by President Donald Trump to ban the use of the Chinese social media app, TikTok, has revealed details of what has been up until now a secret psychological operation–led military dance war with the Communist regime. A study of thousands of videos of US service members acting without discipline, have shown…
YOUR BASE — Gather round folks. C’mon, bring it in really close. I want to cover a few topics to keep you safe as we head into the weekend. It’s me, that hot new respiratory virus that got you a few days off work in March until the SecDef decided you were expendable. But don’t…
EL PASO, Texas — He may have returned to El Paso, but US Border Patrol Agent (BPA) Ken Greggs says he doesn’t feel like he ever truly came home from his harrowing 27-day deployment to Portland, Oregon. “Every time I hear a leaf blower, it’s like I’m right back inside that courthouse,” Greggs said. “I…
ANCHORAGE, Ak. – Senior Airman Ralph Montanez, an Intelligence Operations Specialist assigned to the 611th Air Operations Center at Elmendorf Air Force Base, was detained last week and charged with mishandling classified information while not having high enough rank to get away with it. “This is a serious charge,” said Lt. Col. Peter Smith, the…
WASHINGTON – The Coast Guard Investigative Service (CGIS) is investigating the death of Commandant of the Coast Guard Adm. Karl L. Schultz, whose body was discovered Sunday morning. Anonymous sources report the medical examiner says his cause of death was “being punched 230 times” during a birthday celebration for the Coast Guard with leaders from…
WASHINGTON — Naval Sea Systems Command has certified the troubled Electromagnetic Aircraft Launch System (EMALS) to perform burials at sea. The USS Gerald R. Ford (CVN-78) Navy’s newest carrier has had a host of problems, including a catapult incapable of launching the Navy’s newest aircraft, the F-35C Lightning II. President Donald Trump, upset about the…
FORT DRUM, NY – Second Lt. Marcus Trevor is excited about making a good first impression at his first duty station. The 23-year-old infantry officer spent the past three and a half hours at a local Barnes and Noble examining different journals and notebooks to use as his leader book when he reports to the…
NASHVILLE, Tenn. — Taylor Swift shocked the world last week by releasing an album with just 16 hours notice. Swift says the album Folklore was inspired by imagination and memory, but one popular internet theory proposes that Swift has actually long been inspired by military experiences. The proof is in the lyrics: I see it…