Hangin' on Posco Pier!
It used to be the only people that could get voluntold into military service were men, but change is on the horizon. Between last year when a Federal Judge ruled the Selective Service System unconstitutional and the new results from the National Commission on Military, National, and Public Service panel, it looks like the fairer…
FORT LEE, VA. — After six months in the company commander seat for the headquarters and headquarters company, Capt. Jairo Milan is wondering why he doesn’t get the same respect of other captains that are in charge of line companies. “This was supposed to be the highlight of my career. Every officer looks forward to…
WASHINGTON — The Pentagon has released its 2020 military pay chart, which has introduced separate pay rates for men and women in the uniformed service for the first time in history, sources confirmed today. The change, resulting in female service members receiving 23% less than their male counterparts, has been billed as ‘progressive and timely’…
PENTAGON — The emergence of new technologies has caused a major shift in how the Pentagon plans to handle future conflicts. With the Pentagon’s recent discovery and integration of #hashtags, officials are hoping that future service members will be able to fight the country’s battles with the simple touch of a cell phone keyboard. The soon-to-be-ensconced…
FORT CAMPBELL, Ky. — A soldier in the 101st Airborne Division who claims he’s “not racist” during every argument he has about the Confederate flag, has surprisingly negative things to say about his supply NCOs. After weeks of trying to clear the installation to move on to his next duty station, Spc. Marshall James has…
FORT MEADE, Md. — Chaos erupted this week at U.S. Cyber Command’s Joint Operations Center when, while conducting routine internal training, Air Force 2nd Lt. David Larson inexplicably deleted the State of Alaska. Sirens blared and red emergency lights flooded the JOC shortly after Larson demonstrated on a projection screen “a neat trick” he taught…
ISENGARD — All right boys, this is it, the weekend. We’ve got two hobbits in captivity, we’re on the brink of an epic battle over the fate of Middle Earth, and the last thing I need is one of you scum showing up in the police blotter on Monday morning. Just think what the Master…
FORT STEWART, Ga. — Just three weeks after recovering from severe paper cuts, Pfc. Andrew Varneke has been admitted to Winn Army Hospital to treat multiple burns suffered while gathering exhaust samples. Pfc. Varneke joined the Army in early 2020 and has fallen victim to multiple pranks from other junior enlisted soldiers. “I don’t know…
TEHRAN — Iran’s Supreme Leader is calling a ship’s crew “heroes of fighting the Great Satan” for being one of the rare crews in the Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps Navy to successfully avoid accidentally catching fire. After seven IRGCN ships caught fire in the port of Bushehr on July 15, Iran quickly called the disaster…
FORT LEONARD WOOD, Mo. — After two years on the brigade staff team as the operations officer, Capt. Joshua Moore is fed up with fellow soldiers coming to tell him that the toilet is clogged again. “Do these people realize just because they aren’t an engineer by trade, they can still pick up a fucking…