Hangin' on Posco Pier!
WASHINGTON — The tenth Secretary of Veterans Affairs, The Honorable Robert Wilkie, is proud to announce his agency finally has mailed Navy veteran Kirk Douglas his disability rating decision. The Veterans Affairs Headquarters was excited to also tell Kirk Douglas that the disability rating means he will begin receiving compensation for the injuries he sustained…
FORT MEADE, Md. — Army Sgt. Ryan Mayers is reported to be the best cyber operative in the entire Department of Defense. He has personally hacked into the mainframes of Russia, China, and numerous terrorist groups. That’s why he was incredibly excited last month when he was pulled away from leading an elite network warfare…
WASHINGTON – The U.S. Army has announced its newest line of 2020 chest candy. Secretary of the Army Ryan McCarthy revealed that the significant expansion of the badge inventory is an attempt to boost recruiting with Gen Z. “Science shows that the only way to reach these little weirdos is to generate an unjustified feeling…
QUANTICO, Va. — Lance Cpl. Will Smithers will be removed from the Marine Corps early following his reckless behavior while in uniform, sources report. Smithers was driving home after a long guard shift when he spotted a vehicle on the side of the road. In those next moments, Smithers made careless decisions, forever damaging the…
FORT BRAGG, N.C. – Military police special-response teams raided a barracks complex last night on Gruber Road, arresting dozens of soldiers and shutting down an unlicensed dentistry ring that police say caused implausible levels of readiness over several months, sources confirmed today. “We take readiness and medical credentialing very seriously here on [Fort] Bragg,” said…
FORT EUSTIS, Va. — Gen. Paul E. Funk II, the commanding general of Army Training and Doctrine Command, wants TRADOC to join him in Funky Town. “I like to think of my command as the P-Funk All Stars, bringing the ’70s and the rest of the Cold War back,” Funk said during a recent interview….
TRIPLER ARMY MEDICAL CENTER, Hawaii — With cases of the heavily hyped coronavirus rising, military medical practitioners are preparing to combat the illness with the same expert care they applied to fighting malaria with mefloquine. According to Maj. Gordon Estrada of Tripler Army Medical Center, “Preventing the spread of coronavirus requires a coordinated response from…
WASHINGTON — An unsettling fog descended in the early morning hours as onlookers camped out in anticipation for the ceremony: Would the U.S. emerge from its Pentagon and observe its shadow?The annual ceremony occurs early in the month of February, with the new year fresh in everyone’s hearts, and resolutions clear in everyone’s minds. The…
FORT KNOX, Ky. — Army Human Resources Command (HRC) has been popping champagne corks all day after achieving a command first: 110 percent of Army officers have gotten their preferred number one assignments! The celebration continued long into the night, around a bonfire the size of HRC’s success. A drone with a microphone and speaker…