Hangin' on Posco Pier!
FORT BENNING, Ga. – An Army recruit is in Military Police custody after a jovial prank hilariously took the life of his drill sergeant, sources confirm. Rodney Tillman, a native of Davenport, Iowa, is being charged with first-degree murder after Military Police Officers found the body of Sergeant Eddie Munoz, a drill instructor with 15…
AFGHANISTAN – Army Sgt. First Class Derrik Dillon, watching the world fade away from him after suffering fatal injuries from an IED explosion, spent his last moments on Earth hoping that all the good on-ramps and bridges weren’t already named after fallen heroes. “A bridge would be nice,” Dillon said to the Chaplain administering last…
THE UNDERGROUND — Reports from the E4 Mafia suggest soldiers are concerned about the Space Force: Specifically, what disrespectful nickname can we all decide on? “We weren’t ready for the speed at which this would happen,” Spc. Babahaka, E4 Mafia spokesman, admitted. “Nicknames take time, and the Mafia isn’t what it used to be. Do…
GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. — Worldwide mourning over the tragic death of retired NBA superstar Kobe Bryant and eight others in a helicopter crash on Sunday also happens to be the best possible time to bring up the fact that roughly 22 veterans are lost to suicide every day, says local veteran Adrian Smith. Smith, a…
THE PENTAGON — Much of planned Space Force doctrine has been copied directly from the popular space-themed video game StarCraft, according to multiple sources. “Supply depot, refinery, barracks, refinery…” said Army Maj. Steven Song, “I know a StarCraft build order when I see one, and sadly, this one wasn’t even that good.” Steven isn’t a…
KABUL — The United States has agreed to sign a peace deal with the Taliban so long as the Taliban agrees to maintain a permanent state of war with the United States, officials from both sides announced today. Ambassador Zalmay Khalilzad, the U.S. envoy who has worked on the peace talks, outlined the new position…
PENTAGON — Sailors’ waistlines may be expanding, but their increased buoyancy is saving the Defense Department billions of dollars in life-jacket costs, according to a study released by the Navy. The study, codenamed Project Muffin Top, following a scathing DoD report that named the Navy as its fattest service. Sources say that after the report…
PYONGYANG — In the face of international sanctions that have hobbled its gasoline-fueled mechanized forces, North Korea has been forced to find innovative ways to maintain its military power. Its ground combat force, known as the Korean People’s Army, is now being praised for its efforts to re-form horse cavalry as a “green” alternative to […]
FORT CAMPBELL, Ky. – Second Lt. Miguel Herrera, an infantry platoon leader with A Company, 1st Battalion, 502nd Infantry Regiment, is a man of great confidence but has a growing sense of doubt. The 23-year-old Miami native has begun to question his decision to get a tattoo of his OCS class motto. “It seemed like […]
We all know chief warrant officers to be the seasoned, technical professionals of America’s armed services. But every now and again, we find ourselves wandering over to the chief’s desk only to be met by an inanimate, stained coffee mug. Here are seven of our favorite chief warrant officers who are actually just coffee mugs. […]