Hangin' on Posco Pier!
CALVERT CITY, Ken. — Tristen Houk is a former air defense artillery soldier fresh out of the U.S. Army who is ready to begin his civilian career. While this transition is often the toughest for many veterans, Tristen has a different type of tough choice to make: which service medal pocket square to wear to […]
WASHINGTON — A new superweapon being developed by the Pentagon is set to be the first ever weapon able to spread jobs simultaneously throughout all 435 congressional districts. The most lethal and expensive military program in history managed to award contracts to Lockheed Martin, Boeing, Raytheon, Northrup Grumman, KBR, L3, Booz Allen Hamilton, Huawei, Ford, […]
THE PENTAGON — Some shitbag colonel working at the Pentagon forgot to make coffee and vacuum the floor before leaving work yesterday, sources have confirmed. Marking yet another fuck-up since he was assigned to the secretive Directorate for Iran, military intelligence officer Col. Dale Milligan blew off the shift supervisor’s request to refill the office’s […]
FORT LEAVENWORTH, Kan. — The US Navy has decided to get in front of some of the SEAL controversies by relocating BUD/S to Fort Leavenworth, home of the Army’s Command and General Staff College. The instillation also is home to the U.S. Disciplinary Barracks, which houses the DoD’s sole maximum security prison—and 89 percent of […]
TRAVIS AFB, Calif. — The dining facility (DFAC) at Travis Air Force Base has boldly proclaimed they have the best chicken sandwich on earth, jumping feet first into the so-called “Chicken Sandwich War” raging between fast food chains Popeyes and Chick-Fil-A. The conflict began last month when Popeye’s announced the arrival of the chicken sandwich […]
WASHINGTON – The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration spotted a Category 5 hurricane threatening the Iranian capital of Tehran late last evening, according to President Donald Trump. “The great people of NOAA — they do really incredible work by the way, thank you Neil — have spotted what appears to be the largest, most spectacular […]
KABUL, Afghanistan — The Taliban has issued an official warning against travel to the United States because an increased threat of gun violence. The announcement warned all Afghanis, “Do not travel to the United States. You may get shot there.” The release comes in the shadow of a potential peace agreement between the U.S. and […]
FORT BENNING, Ga. – Trigger, a military working dog assigned to the 127th Military Police Company, shocked his handlers by coming back from his last deployment with a necklace of enemy buttholes. “Some of us noticed that Trigger was having some problems,” said Sgt. Mary McKelvin, Trigger’s Dog Mom. “He’s such a good boy, my […]
WASHINGTON — Senior Army officials are calling the appointment of Lt. Col. Anne McClain, astronaut and cyber capabilities expert, as Director of the Cyber Crime Prevention Program a step toward ensuring out-of-this-world protections against online criminals. McClain is alleged to have accessed and manipulated her estranged spouse’s bank account from the International Space Station (ISS) […]