Hangin' on Posco Pier!
CAMP LEJEUNE, N.C. – If anyone is reading this, I am locked in the bathroom of the gym closest to headquarters. I don’t know exactly how it happened, but every Marine in this place suddenly just started raging the fuck out, and I’m afraid for my life. I was pretty sure half these guys were […]
FORT HOOD, Texas — An Army sergeant major months from retiring after more than 30 years of service is pretty sure he was a Japanese samurai in a previous life, sources confirmed today. “You know, I can really identify with the Samurai mindset,” sources say Sgt. Maj. Joshua Thomas, an overweight 48-year-old father of four, […]
CLINTON, Okla. — A National Guard soldier is not backing down in local court about his love for hops, sources confirmed today. Oklahoma National Guardsman Spc. Demond Dowski appeared before a judge after his second DUI charge in the past 13 months. Dowski was appointed a public defender, saying he could not afford an attorney. “I […]
JACKSON, Mo. — After more than 17 years inside a retired Special Forces soldier’s colon, the first Meals Ready-to-Eat consumed during the war in Afghanistan was pooped out this week, sources confirmed today. 1st Sgt. Jeff Donegan (Ret.) says he ate the beef ravioli MRE during the initial invasion of Afghanistan in October 2001. “I […]
KABUL — The Afghanistan War is complaining to anyone who will listen about never having a quinceañera to recognize its ever-advancing age as it celebrates its 17th birthday, sources confirmed today. A quinceañera is a significant, sometimes spectacular celebration which recognizes maturity, usually held for a 15th birthday. Two years past that mark, the Afghanistan […]
“It’s just a flashback I never wanted to have.”
It’s called the “Cross Into the Black” initiative.
The boating public reacted with alarm at the nomination.
WALLACE, Idaho — It’s been a cold and long winter for former Army Sgt. Roy Gomez. Separated from the military for nearly five years now, his transition into civilian life has taken a little longer than he expected. “I figured with a DD-214 and an associates degree, I’d have no issues finding a job,” says […]